Life Happens Page #2

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"Unfortunately,

we cannot accept..."

(SIGHS) I'm gonna stab

myself in the face.

Please don't.

"However, we think the

excerpt from your book,

"'A Self Made

Woman's Lifestyle:

"'Separating Yourself

from the B*tches..."'

That title is way too long...

However, however.

"Will be the perfect

inaugural headliner

"for our online edition

featuring new voices."

(LAUGHS)

Oh!

Oh, I'm in!

Okay, get up,

I have work to do.

Okay. Here we go.

Marc, I thought we were

gonna at least try to

raise the kid together.

It'd be career suicide

to turn down a

Hawaiian Tropic pro-tour.

You understand that?

Can we get your scrawl?

Oh, yeah, sure.

BOY:
Thanks, man.

Sure.

See? I'm blowing up.

What about when

you come back?

Well, if I come back.

I got things, you know?

I think he's

better off without me.

I'm doing

the right thing here.

I'm ripping it off fast,

like a Band-Aid. Okay?

Peace, all right? Okay.

All right. Be well.

(GURGLING)

(SHUSHING)

KIM:
I feel like a big

slab of hamburger

that's been

mushed into a human.

This was, like,

my one day a week

to feel like

a normal human being.

Now, I'm like,

seriously a mom now,

like seven days a week.

That is kind of

how it works.

Well, I know,

but what am I gonna do?

Look, lots of women have

been exactly where

you are right now.

You can still have

everything you've

always wanted,

and your kid is gonna

respect the hell

out of you for it.

Huh?

Let's get a massage.

(MOANING)

I am so getting

one of these when I get

my first big paycheck.

I don't care how

nouveau riche it is.

(MAX CRYING)

Oh, it's okay. It's okay.

Oh, God, yes!

(DEENA MOANING)

That's okay, baby.

I guess I can

breast-feed in here.

And it's the perfect

place to find something

hideous for your boss.

You know, it used to

be that a very select,

few lucky people

got to see my b*obs,

and now I whip them

out everywhere

like they're udders.

So wean him.

Breast milk is free

and I'm broke.

Oh, God! This is so hard.

Nobody tells you

it's gonna be so hard!

Yes, they do, Kim.

That's pretty much

all people say.

Not to mention

I haven't had contact

with a man in over a year.

Well, I think

we have a winner.

All right.

Let's just go.

Don't get mad at me

for saying this,

but I think you'd

feel better if you'd

go back into launching

your doggy mall.

How am I supposed

to do that?

What about Francesca?

What's the point of

working for the b*tch

if she's not gonna invest?

I just think part of

what's getting you down,

Kim, is that, you know,

you're not

really doing anything.

I mean, career-wise,

career-wise.

I have been making inroads

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