Landmine Goes Click
- TV-MA
- Year:
- 2015
- 105 min
- 1,203 Views
[Overlapping chatter
in different languages]
[Soft European music]
[Man]
And we're listening
to this because...
[Woman]
It's the only show in town.
[Man #2]
That's nice for him.
He's got a completely
captive audience.
[Woman]
I wonder what he's saying.
[Man]
People of earth,
do not be afraid.
[Woman]
Assimilation is painless.
[Man #2]
Yeah, but probing not so much.
Hey, we could use my phone
to play some music.
[Man]
There is no auxiliary.
- [Man #2] Well, sh*t.
- [Woman laughs]
- [Man] Indeed.
- [Woman] We will live.
[Man #2]
I will not.
[Man]
I need a quick stop, okay?
- [Soft Latin music]
- [Groans] Whoo.
[Man #2]
That good, huh?
Did you think about
what I said?
Yes.
I think it's a mistake.
What, what we did, or...
What we did
doesn't matter anymore, okay?
But telling him
about it does.
- Yeah, it does.
- So we say nothing.
What, what do you think,
I wanna tell him
Just to break you guys up?
Should I?
[Man]
You know this place
used to be a warzone
[Man #2]
A warzone, really?
- [Woman] Huh.
- [Man] Yeah, tanks, artillery,
Mines, the whole deal.
[Man #2]
What was it, like a civil war?
[Man]
Russians invaded.
[Chuckles]
Shocker.
F***ing Russians, man,
they just don't get it,
nobody likes them.
I mean seriously,
name one good thing
To come out of Russia
other than, like,
Really hot
girl tennis players.
- [Woman laughs]
- [Man] Vodka.
- [Woman] Yeah, there's that.
- [Man #2] Vodka?
Sh*t, even the French
make better vodka.
[Man]
Oil and gas.
- [Woman] What?
- The Russians,
They make oil and gas.
[Man #2]
They don't make oil and gas,
They have oil and gas.
[Woman]
Yeah, right, it's not like
Anyone said wow,
this Russian oil
is so much better than that
- [Man] Hold up,
Let me get my bearings.
- Are we on course?
- Yeah, I think we are.
I give you the ak-47.
- When you absolutely...
- [Woman chuckles]
Positively gotta kill
Every motherf***er
in the room,
[Both men]
Accept no substitutes.
- [All laughing]
- [Man #2] That's a good point.
[Woman]
You shouldn't have seen that.
[Man #2]
It's kind of sad, really,
you know, the Russians,
I thought they... i thought
they wanted to be free.
- Be good.
- [Woman] Be like us.
[Man] All I know is
That comes from a country
that's successful with chess.
[Man #2, laughs]
Yeah, you all right?
- [Man] Come on.
- [Woman] I'm all right.
[Man #2]
All right, there you go.
- [Man] All right?
- Up, all right.
- [Woman] It's good, thank you.
- [Groans]
- [Man] You're welcome.
- [Gasps]
What?
- [Man #2, laughs] No...
- Oh, my God.
How do you like
them apples, huh?
- Aw, man, dude.
- [Laughs]
Chris, will you marry us?
- [Woman] Now?
- Yeah.
- Come on, come on.
- What?
- Let's do it.
- Shouldn't we save it?
Put your bags... babe,
we have the whole ceremony
To make it official,
this is, like, between us,
Friends, family,
it's all that matters, right?
Yeah, but I just...
-[Stutters] I wouldn't know
what to say, so.
- Just put your...
Screw it, I will help you.
Yes, okay, yes, he's right.
- I'm sorry.
- [Laughing]
- So, I say what...
- L-ladies and gentlemen,
- we are gathered here today.
- Right [Clears throat]
Ladies and gentlemen,
We are gathered here today
to celebrate
The marriage
of Daniel and Alicia.
[Daniel] Wedding
is a sacred institution.
[Chris]
Yeah, marriage
is a sacred institution
And it should not be
taken lightly.
[Daniel]
And we're not, so let's skip
forward to the good part.
So, Daniel,
do you take Alicia?
[Chris]
Daniel, do you take Alicia
To be
For rich, poor, sick
and in good health
So long
as you both shall live?
- [Alicia] I do.
- [Daniel] I do.
- [Laughing]
- This is stupid.
- What?
- This is stupid,
You know, I mean,
you guys are...
Doing your thing and it
makes me feel, like, I just,
I don't want to, okay?
- What, what is wrong, man?
- Nothing, nothing.
Nothing's wrong, I just,
you know, you guys
have your fun,
I got... i gotta set up camp
And, you know,
we're losing light, so just...
[Daniel]
I know something's wrong.
- And I wanna know what.
- [Chris] Hmm?
Chris.
[Chris]
Nothing.
- I'm fine, it's nothing.
- [Chuckles]
- Okay.
- It's all good.
Now, Chris, Chris, so, look,
I'm your best friend, okay?
You don't think I know
when something's up your ass?
Huh? Spill it.
[Chris]
Yeah, all right, fine,
There's something
that I gotta tell you.
It's... I'm...
I'm sorry, okay?
You know, you guys
are getting married
- and I should be happy, but...
- But what?
- Because i...
- So what, so... so, wh...
No, no, no, no, no,
so, you think,
You think
we're gonna go antiquing
And... and... and
rent a tandem bike
And ride around town
in matching outfits?
You a**hole.
And...
I'm gonna set you up...
With so many hot girlfriends.
So many hot girlfriends.
So many.
I hate antiquing.
It's not happening.
- [Chris] All right.
- [Daniel] Okay,
To my best man.
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
- Whoa, wooo.
- [Chuckles]
- [Sighs]
- Okay.
- You okay?
- All right,
There's a possibility
I may be drunk.
Maybe just a little bit.
- All right, bedtime. Come on.
Translation
Translate and read this script in other languages:
Select another language:
- - Select -
- 简体中文 (Chinese - Simplified)
- 繁體中文 (Chinese - Traditional)
- Español (Spanish)
- Esperanto (Esperanto)
- 日本語 (Japanese)
- Português (Portuguese)
- Deutsch (German)
- العربية (Arabic)
- Français (French)
- Русский (Russian)
- ಕನ್ನಡ (Kannada)
- 한국어 (Korean)
- עברית (Hebrew)
- Gaeilge (Irish)
- Українська (Ukrainian)
- اردو (Urdu)
- Magyar (Hungarian)
- मानक हिन्दी (Hindi)
- Indonesia (Indonesian)
- Italiano (Italian)
- தமிழ் (Tamil)
- Türkçe (Turkish)
- తెలుగు (Telugu)
- ภาษาไทย (Thai)
- Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)
- Čeština (Czech)
- Polski (Polish)
- Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)
- Românește (Romanian)
- Nederlands (Dutch)
- Ελληνικά (Greek)
- Latinum (Latin)
- Svenska (Swedish)
- Dansk (Danish)
- Suomi (Finnish)
- فارسی (Persian)
- ייִדיש (Yiddish)
- հայերեն (Armenian)
- Norsk (Norwegian)
- English (English)
Citation
Use the citation below to add this screenplay to your bibliography:
Style:MLAChicagoAPA
"Landmine Goes Click" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 27 Apr. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/landmine_goes_click_12211>.
Discuss this script with the community:
Report Comment
We're doing our best to make sure our content is useful, accurate and safe.
If by any chance you spot an inappropriate comment while navigating through our website please use this form to let us know, and we'll take care of it shortly.
Attachment
You need to be logged in to favorite.
Log In