Land Of The Lost Page #2

Ate several meals and

lapsed into a food coma.

I've had issues with food in the past.

I don't know, you know just with the

stress of everything I just overdid it.

But I'm in control.

Now I don't have to go back to Phoenix.

I just wanted to come by,

and apologize for yesterday,

my behavior was just...

No, no, no...

You finished the Tachyon Amplifier!

No, no...I mean yes.

I-I don't know...

I finished building it yes, but...

I didn't have the nerve to test it out.

So I thought a trip to Arby's

might give me some courage, no dice.

But I hit Popeyes, Del Taco...

Fourteen thousand calories later.

I found myself down at Subway.

Powering through a 12

inch veggie on whole wheat.

Battling to come out a "Jared."

Still didn't give me the

strength to turn that thing on.

I'm a coward.

You are not a coward,

you're a visionary.

This is probably the greatest work

of genius in the last hundred years.

Is that a chorus line?

It's left over data from the drive.

What a piece of crap!

The machine I mean

Not a chorus line.

I love show tunes, they really tell

the story of the human condition.

It's a bit gay.

It is great.

Right.

Dr. Marshall you're going to

stop selling yourself short,

you're on the verge of a

major discovery, now get up!

Whoa, where are we going?

We're going to test this

little device, in the field.

Are you crazy? I'm not

prepared for a field test!

No, I'm not going to make a big deal

out of it just a routine expedition.

A routine expedition?

Purely routine.

Here, here it is. This is

where I found the fossil.

The Devil's Canyon mystery cave.

This dump is a portal?

Would you look at these readings?

We just gotta get back in that cave.

No problem, the place

is obviously abandoned.

Not exactly.

What's your pleasure?

I got Roman Candles, Bottle Rockets,

Twitter Glitters, Dancing Butterflies?

This little b*tch right here

I call the Mexican Vasectomy.

Yeah?

Okay, that's some bad taste.

How 'bout this?

This is a little travel mug I

like to call, the perfect woman.

Big ol' set of boobies,

no head and a handle.

Look we want to go in the cave, alright?

Okay, how about this.

Ya'll spend $30 on crap,

I'll give you a deluxe tour.

It all goes to a great cause.

The Devil's Canyon Resort & Casino!

Wow, that's nice craft.

Seven thousand

luxuriously appointed rooms

Three casinos.

One convention center.

Ass-tons of parking.

And when everything is complete,

I will turn the tip of this golden

tee-pee into my personal lair.

And I will take a mate, and live

the rest of my life with her up here.

When we fight, and she pisses me

off, I will banish her to this tip,

where she will be kept

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