L.A. Story Page #4

- I don't know.

I couldn't be a woman because

I'd play with my breasts all day.

Where's June? - Upstairs,

recovering from the alcohol.

Want some juice?

- Sure.

Be my taster, it's a new mixture.

This is Ariel.

Hey, what's up?

That's a job for Supergirl.

It's like licking a shag carpet!

I'll bring it down in an hour.

Can we take your car

so I can leave mine for June. - Sure.

Today will be rough. There's coffee.

Hey, Harris. God, was I stupid...

- Have some juice.

I'll make you some eggs.

Can you hold on a sec?

- The Museum is open till five.

I keep busy this way.

I call it performance art,

but Ariel calls it wasting time.

History will decide.

You're on time.

- I'm late. - You're right on time.

But I had planned on being early.

Don't! Stop! Let me pose at least.

Listen, I had this idea,

rather than an...

- Hang on.

Rather than do an interview, which

would be fascinating because of the

interesting words I use,

I'd rather show you around town.

You know,

a kind of cultural tour of L.A.

That's the

first fifteen minutes, then what?

A cynic.

First stop is six blocks.

- Why don't we walk?

Walk?

A walk in L.A.?

Architecture. Some of these buildings

are over 20 years old!

This house is Greek revival. The

Greek owner must be revived every day.

Here's a Tudor mansion.

And a four door mansion.

You're nobody in L.A. Unless

you live in a house with a big door.

Let's go the Museum of Musicology.

Verdi's baton.

Mozart's quill.

Beethoven's balls.

I'll take you to the graveyard.

Lots of famous people

are buried here.

Rocky Marciano, Benny Goodman, and

William Shakespeare.

I think he wrote "Hamlet" Part 8

"The Revenge," here.

Whose grave is this?

Mine.

- No,

who'll be buried here? His name?

It's not a he.

- Ok, she.

Not a woman either.

Used to be a woman, now she's dead.

A funny gravedigger.

Wanna know how long it takes

a body to rot? - Boy, do we!

Well, if they're not already

rotten, 8 or 9 years.

The Beverly Hills women can last 12.

How come? - Their skin is so tanned.

It's all stretched and polished up.

That'll keep the water out,

and water's what ruins a dead body.

And they have them extra parts.

That stuff's not biodegradable.

This bloke's been here 35 years.

Who was he?

The magician, Blunderman.

Not so great now, is he?

I knew him.

He was funny. He taught me magic.

A fellow of infinite jest...

- Yeah. - That's it.

He hath borne me

on his back a thousand times.

She knows, she's got it.

Where be your gibes now?

Your merriment

that would set the table on a roar?

Interesting people usually make me

feel like I have to be interesting.

Am I interesting?

When I'm around you,

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