Kummeli Stories

Synopsis: The war between Luxembourg and Finland sets the outline to a set of comedic stories about a rally team, gay couple's fishing trip, two hoodlums' last school days in the spring and a haunted hotel among others.
Genre: Comedy, Musical, Sport
90 min

It's fun to breathalyze drunkards

We are hepaticas of the roads

We may loosen your plates,

it refreshes us -

if can dry up the licence

Fines, fines,

great fines

We don't skimp,

we gladly give -

fines, fines,

fines to everybody

Come and get yours

Hey dudes, you hear?

You hear me?

Yes we hear

Quite cold is here,

quite cold is here

Yes. -Shall we exchange?

Shall we exchange?

In a minute. -Let's exchange

already. Let's exhange already

In a minute

Dudes, now some 96 comes

at least 600 mph

I guess it's red, perhaps red

To what hell's rally

are you going to?

Nordics rally

Red Opel Kadett HKR-420,

child is screaming inside

Release the child

Have a good rally to you

Girls, after the final race

at the hotel a bit...

You are just awful

Hi there

This is the place for signing up?

Oh f*ck, I have eaten

cabbage casserole 4 days straight -

my stomach's upset.

-Class, certificate and licence


-Have you got any charcoal tablets -

my stomach's messed up

Sorry but I only have

a full tube of rectal wax

These are fine, have a

good rally. -Yes thanks

Was there any trouble?


Well what then? -I was just

looking at those other teams

Well what about them?

-They are quite clowns

Sure are

...already 35 times

Five, four, three,

two, one, drive

Oh darn.

-Go to push

Moisio, third gear, clutch down -

when car moves, clutch up

Clutch... Brake

Right, different fast,

left, different fast

75 right, flat out

Over 50, jump, right fast

Where are we?

Bottom of the bank,

right's okay, left down, up

Left full speed forward,

not fast

Left fast, this is most of all

goddamn curvy road

Pull your owns.


I could pull one cigarette

during this interval

If okay?

-Hey, this stick snapped

Well then, let's replace it.

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Heikki Hela

Heikki Hela (born 19 July 1964 in Aitolahti) is a Finnish entertainer, actor and musician, best remembered for his role in the early 1990s hit show Kummeli and his hit song "Uneton Yö", featured on his debut album, Kaikista Kaikkein. Since then, he has recorded three more albums (Kaksi Maailmaa, Lauantain Toivotut Levyt and se tulee läpi), along with playing numerous roles in Kummeli spinoff films and other titles such as the comedy film Kahlekuningas (Handcuff King). He has had two singles, "Uneton Yo" was number four in 1994 and "Naisen Hymy was number seven in 1999, and one album, Heikki Hela was number three in 19994, in the Finnish top ten.He has been married to Mari Posti since 1996 and they have two children. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018


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"Kummeli Stories" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2019. Web. 22 Oct. 2019. <https://www.scripts.com/script/kummeli_stories_12033>.

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