Kevin Hart: What Now? Page #4

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already notice this sh*t.

Yo, you on

your period,

my man?

Ain't every man?

What?

Halle, you gotta get

me some damn clothes!

(CLEARS THROAT)

What took you

so long?

What kind of question

is that?

What do you mean,

what took me so long?

I was getting

the blood off of me.

What were you doing?

I thought you

was gonna be long.

Why would you think

I would be long?

Because you're a woman.

Women take long.

Everyone knows that.

(SCOFFS)

How about, "Kevin,

you look nice"?

How about, "I see what

you did with the time"?

You don't feel

like a compliment

is necessary?

That's your problem.

Like, why you got

an attitude?

I just gotta get

my mind right. So much

stuff happened today.

Just calm down.

I know.

Hey, thank you.

Sh*t!

(PEOPLE CLAMORING)

Close your mouth, Kevin.

Let's go.

Oh!

Where the f***

you get a gun from?

Kevin, we love you! Yay!

(SCANNER BEEPING)

Kevin, you the man!

Kevin Hart,

we love you, man!

Sh*t.

(AUDIENCE CLAMORING)

You hear that?

I do.

Sh*t.

What now?

What now is I do my job.

Okay.

Be careful.

KEVIN:
Wait a minute.

Is Halle Berry

giving me the look?

Okay, listen up, people.

If you think I'ma have

Halle Berry in my movie

and I'm not gonna kiss her,

you got another thing coming.

That's goddamn Halle Berry!

She about to get a berry blast

of these lips,

I'll tell you that.

(SMACKS LIPS)

Well, now that I

know what we both want,

I'll stop wasting time.

Oh!

Mmm!

What are you doing?

You know what I'm doing.

I'm about to kiss you.

Nobody said anything

about a kiss.

Just do a little one.

I'm not kissing you,

Kevin. Come on.

Do this.

Okay.

No. With your lips.

Fine, forget it.

Hey, Tim?

TIM:
Yeah, Kev?

Let's just take it

from the top.

TIM:
Good idea.

Ready?

I'm ready.

TIM:
And action.

Be careful.

No, you be careful.

Because being careful is

what I'm most careful at.

I do it very carefully.

What the f***

did you just say?

Goddamn it, just... Sh*t!

F*** me!

Don't worry about me.

You hear me?

Are you sure you

don't want to kiss?

Kevin...

Shh.

Ew.

Okay?

All right, boy,

let's cut the sh*t.

Let's do what you do best.

Let's go make

these people laugh.

It's showtime!

(AUDIENCE CHEERING)

(HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING)

Philadelphia,

make some f***ing noise!

(CHEERING INTENSIFIES)

No.

That's not good enough

for me.

Goddamn it,

we sold a football

stadium out tonight.

So I need to hear that!

I need to hear that!

So I'ma ask my city

one more time...

Philadelphia,

make some f***ing noise!

(CHEERING LOUDLY)

Yeah!

Yeah!

Yes!

Goddamn it,

we about to get loose.

I can honestly say that

the city of Philadelphia

has my back.

Is it safe to

say that, Philly?

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