Jury Duty

Synopsis: When jobless Tommy Collins discovers that sequestered jurors earn free room and board as well as $5-a-day, he gets himself assigned to a jury in a murder trial. Once there, he does everything he can to prolong the trial and deliberations and make the sequestration more comfortable for himself.
Genre: Comedy
Director(s): John Fortenberry
Production: Sony Pictures Home Entertainment
  1 win & 1 nomination.
 
IMDB:
4.1
Rotten Tomatoes:
0%
PG-13
Year:
1995
88 min
11 Views

1

(HELICOPTER WHIRRING)

MAN:
Execute.

MAN:
Go! Go! go!

I got the back!

Moving in!

Make sure he's there!

(GUNS COCKING)

Freeze!

(SCREAMING)

(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)

(CROWD CHEERING)

FEMALE EMCEE:

Yeah, my favorite stripper.

Gorgeous Goliath!

I want you

You gotta get ready

Feel something hot?

Give him a hand!

Gotta get ready

EMCEE:
Goliath!

(WOMEN CHEERING)

Now, remember, ladies,

at least five

of these

gorgeous, gorgeous hunks

you are seeing here tonight

are gonna be exclusive

International House

of Beefcakes dancers!

And now, our next

steaming slab of man.

(POP GOES THE WEASEL

PLAYING)

WOMAN:

Take it off, baby.

(RECORD SCRATCHES)

EMCEE:

The Cream Machine!

(PLAY WITH ME PLAYING)

Ring around the rosie

Hopscotch, Monopoly

Red light, green light

G. I. Joes and Barbies

EMCEE:
The mighty,

mighty Cream Machine.

Paper dolls,

Hacky sack and Hangman

Do you wanna play

It's stupid.

Tag, you're it,

Cops and robbers

Jungle gym,

Chutes and ladders,

Tic tac toe, Mister Rogers

Yahoo!

Yeah!

Electric company,

Olly olly oxen free

Do you wanna play

With me

Okay, wait one second.

Come on.

EMCEE:

He's creamy.

Do you wanna

Yuck.

Play

Whoo!

Play with me,

play with me

Do you wanna

Aah!

Play

EMCEE:

The mighty

Cream Machine.

Spin the bottle,

Post office, Kiss and tell

Slippery when wet.

Cooties, Little league

(SPLOTCHING)

WOMAN:
Ugh!

With cheese!

Dairy products like

you've never seen

them before.

Come here, come here!

(SHOUTING)

Matchbox, Cheerios

ABC's, Spelling bees,

Sesame street,

Hockey duck duck

Do you wanna play

With me

With me

Hey.

Hi.

Let's go back

to my place and curdle.

Eww!

Ugh! Go!

Okay, boys,

the votes are in.

Read it and weep.

I made it, I made it.

Congrats.

We're gonna be dancers.

TOMMY:

Let me through.

THOR:

I'm gonna call Mother.

"Adonis, Thor, Sgt. O'Tool,

Goliath, Zeus, the Cream..."

Huh?

Excuse me.

I don't understand

what happened.

I mean,

I was good, right?

Kid, you were too good.

But I got personality!

Personality?

Unfortunately, uh,

that's not what

the people are paying for.

A kid like you,

you're special.

You could do anything.

What about fast foods?

It's too greasy.

Post office?

Too dangerous.

You ever fill in potholes?

Too labor-intensive.

What about giving sperm?

Also too labor-intensive.

Yeah, you're right.

Well, thanks for trying

to hook me up here

at the International

Beefcake House,

Uncle Sal.

Hey, what's family for, huh?

Get over here.

Huh? Who loves you more

than your Uncle Sal?

All right, goodbye.

Personality!

(SPEAKING ITALIAN)

Oh, well, Peanut,

some things just

aren't meant to be.

What else is there?

(SIGHING)

(WHIMPERING)

"We pay big bucks

for your dog.

"Animal Lab

Testing Corporation."

(BARKS)

Don't worry, Peanut,

I wouldn't do that

to you again.

(BARKING)

(SWEET SOUL REVUE

PLAYING IN JAPANESE)

NEWSCASTER ON TV:

Right behind me,

Carl Wayne Bishop,

the accused Drive-Thru Killer,

sits alone

in his 6 by 8 solitary cell.

Coincidentally, the cell

is roughly the size of

his old workspace.

But there are no burgers,

no fries, no frosty shakes.

Just an accused serial killer

and his conscience,

awaiting trial by jury.

12 brave citizens

riding shotgun for...

Wakey, wakey.

Eggs and bacey.

Rise and shine, puddin'.

Wake up, Tommy.

Mom, it's not noon yet.

Oh, I brewed you

some fresh coffee.

Uh.

But, Mom,

that'll keep me up all day.

Puddin', tell me,

what happened

with your job interview?

I must have been fast asleep

when you came in.

What job interview?

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Neil Tolkin

Neil Tolkin is a Canadian screenwriter and film director from Montreal. He attended Westmount High School and Dawson College and McGill University. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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"Jury Duty" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2019. Web. 18 Sep. 2019. <https://www.scripts.com/script/jury_duty_11491>.

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