Jury Duty
- PG-13
- Year:
- 1995
- 88 min
- 416 Views
1
(HELICOPTER WHIRRING)
MAN:
Execute.MAN:
Go! Go! go!I got the back!
Moving in!
Make sure he's there!
(GUNS COCKING)
Freeze!
(SCREAMING)
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
(CROWD CHEERING)
FEMALE EMCEE:
Yeah, my favorite stripper.
Gorgeous Goliath!
I want you
You gotta get ready
Feel something hot?
Give him a hand!
Gotta get ready
EMCEE:
Goliath!(WOMEN CHEERING)
Now, remember, ladies,
at least five
of these
gorgeous, gorgeous hunks
you are seeing here tonight
are gonna be exclusive
International House
of Beefcakes dancers!
And now, our next
steaming slab of man.
PLAYING)
WOMAN:
Take it off, baby.
(RECORD SCRATCHES)
EMCEE:
The Cream Machine!
Ring around the rosie
Hopscotch, Monopoly
Red light, green light
G. I. Joes and Barbies
EMCEE:
The mighty,mighty Cream Machine.
Paper dolls,
Hacky sack and Hangman
Do you wanna play
It's stupid.
Tag, you're it,
Cops and robbers
Jungle gym,
Chutes and ladders,
Tic tac toe, Mister Rogers
Yahoo!
Yeah!
Electric company,
Olly olly oxen free
Do you wanna play
With me
Okay, wait one second.
Come on.
EMCEE:
He's creamy.
Do you wanna
Yuck.
Play
Whoo!
Play with me,
play with me
Do you wanna
Aah!
Play
EMCEE:
The mighty
Cream Machine.
Spin the bottle,
Post office, Kiss and tell
Slippery when wet.
Cooties, Little league
(SPLOTCHING)
WOMAN:
Ugh!With cheese!
Dairy products like
you've never seen
them before.
Come here, come here!
(SHOUTING)
Matchbox, Cheerios
ABC's, Spelling bees,
Sesame street,
Hockey duck duck
Do you wanna play
With me
With me
Hey.
Hi.
Let's go back
to my place and curdle.
Eww!
Ugh! Go!
Okay, boys,
the votes are in.
Read it and weep.
I made it, I made it.
Congrats.
We're gonna be dancers.
TOMMY:
Let me through.
THOR:
I'm gonna call Mother.
"Adonis, Thor, Sgt. O'Tool,
Goliath, Zeus, the Cream..."
Huh?
Excuse me.
I don't understand
what happened.
I mean,
I was good, right?
Kid, you were too good.
But I got personality!
Personality?
Unfortunately, uh,
that's not what
A kid like you,
you're special.
You could do anything.
What about fast foods?
It's too greasy.
Post office?
Too dangerous.
You ever fill in potholes?
Too labor-intensive.
Also too labor-intensive.
Yeah, you're right.
Well, thanks for trying
to hook me up here
at the International
Beefcake House,
Uncle Sal.
Hey, what's family for, huh?
Get over here.
Huh? Who loves you more
than your Uncle Sal?
All right, goodbye.
Personality!
(SPEAKING ITALIAN)
Oh, well, Peanut,
some things just
aren't meant to be.
What else is there?
(SIGHING)
(WHIMPERING)
"We pay big bucks
for your dog.
"Animal Lab
Testing Corporation."
(BARKS)
Don't worry, Peanut,
I wouldn't do that
to you again.
(BARKING)
(SWEET SOUL REVUE
PLAYING IN JAPANESE)
NEWSCASTER ON TV:
Right behind me,
Carl Wayne Bishop,
the accused Drive-Thru Killer,
sits alone
in his 6 by 8 solitary cell.
Coincidentally, the cell
is roughly the size of
his old workspace.
But there are no burgers,
no fries, no frosty shakes.
and his conscience,
awaiting trial by jury.
12 brave citizens
riding shotgun for...
Wakey, wakey.
Eggs and bacey.
Rise and shine, puddin'.
Wake up, Tommy.
Mom, it's not noon yet.
Oh, I brewed you
some fresh coffee.
Uh.
But, Mom,
that'll keep me up all day.
Puddin', tell me,
what happened
with your job interview?
I must have been fast asleep
when you came in.
What job interview?
The one at the dairy.
Well, Mom,
it didn't really happen.
I didn't get the job.
Ah.
That's all right, puddin'.
It's okay.
It's dangerous
being a milkman.
on cable television.
I'll find something, Ma.
You just don't worry.
Oh, look no further,
Mr. District Attorney.
What's this?
A jury duty notice?
My son, the lawyer.
Ma, it pays
$5 a day, okay?
Look, look at me.
I got stuff to do.
Yes, but...
I heard that
when the trial is important,
they sequester
the jury in very posh hotels.
Hey, Ma,
what could be
better than this?
(HORN BLOWING)
Tommy, you just threw away
your entire future.
Mom, honey-face, snookum-pie,
I'll find something.
Hear ye, hear ye!
Hey, Ma, look!
Harry the Hot Tub King
is slashing all prices.
That's right.
The widest selection.
I demand it.
The finest...
Hey, Mom, look.
Safe sex.
(HORN HONKING)
Oh, I...
I have to finish dressing.
(MOANING)
Hey, Jed.
Hi.
I got two words
for you, son.
Polystyrene.
It's like white gold, Tommy.
It's everywhere.
People are throwing
this stuff away,
right and left,
treating it like the plague.
But south of the border,
they can't get enough of it.
So, here's what we do.
We find it, clean it,
ship it. Bingo.
Easy village, huh?
Right.
Come here, I want to show
you something. Come on.
Look. Look, what do you see?
TOMMY:
A truck full of sh*t.
JED:
No, Tommy.That's the future.
This stuff
is light as a feather.
And the best part of it is,
they pay you by the pound.
Wow! Then you must
be making a fortune.
Yeah.
Ta da! I'm ready.
Where are we going?
Uh, Vegas.
Oh, great!
Peanut loves craps.
Siegfried and Peanuts.
You didn't tell him?
I knew there was
something I forgot.
Okay, you guys,
we are ready.
Tommy, um...
Translation
Translate and read this script in other languages:
Select another language:
- - Select -
- 简体中文 (Chinese - Simplified)
- 繁體中文 (Chinese - Traditional)
- Español (Spanish)
- Esperanto (Esperanto)
- 日本語 (Japanese)
- Português (Portuguese)
- Deutsch (German)
- العربية (Arabic)
- Français (French)
- Русский (Russian)
- ಕನ್ನಡ (Kannada)
- 한국어 (Korean)
- עברית (Hebrew)
- Gaeilge (Irish)
- Українська (Ukrainian)
- اردو (Urdu)
- Magyar (Hungarian)
- मानक हिन्दी (Hindi)
- Indonesia (Indonesian)
- Italiano (Italian)
- தமிழ் (Tamil)
- Türkçe (Turkish)
- తెలుగు (Telugu)
- ภาษาไทย (Thai)
- Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)
- Čeština (Czech)
- Polski (Polish)
- Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)
- Românește (Romanian)
- Nederlands (Dutch)
- Ελληνικά (Greek)
- Latinum (Latin)
- Svenska (Swedish)
- Dansk (Danish)
- Suomi (Finnish)
- فارسی (Persian)
- ייִדיש (Yiddish)
- հայերեն (Armenian)
- Norsk (Norwegian)
- English (English)
Citation
Use the citation below to add this screenplay to your bibliography:
Style:MLAChicagoAPA
"Jury Duty" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 29 Mar. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/jury_duty_11491>.
Discuss this script with the community:
Report Comment
We're doing our best to make sure our content is useful, accurate and safe.
If by any chance you spot an inappropriate comment while navigating through our website please use this form to let us know, and we'll take care of it shortly.
Attachment
You need to be logged in to favorite.
Log In