Joy Ride Page #2

with a Kodak at 185.

No cops till James Town.

You're free to speed like a motherf***er

for the next 40 miles or so.

Aren't we due for a hell of a downpour?

We got a 200-mile slipper-slide. Come on.

Doesn't matter.

Not from this rocking chair.

Some people like it when it rains.

It's going to rain hard tonight.

Keeps everybody inside.

What's with this guy?

Howdy! You got Black Sheep here

with Mama's Boy. Who we got? Over.

Can I please get a better handle

than Mama's Boy?

No.

Yo, Rainman, what's your 20?

Can you do a woman's voice?

-What?

-Do a girl? Say...

..."Black Sheep, this is Miss...."

No.

Come on, man.

You did a girl when we pranked....

Mr. Schramm.

-That was good.

-I was nine. That's what I sounded like.

This is like a prehistoric lnternet.

You f*** with someone in a chat room.

It's the same thing.

Forget it.

Come on, man.

Say, "Hey, Black Sheep,

this is Candy Cane."

Just say it. You'll be amazing.

Black Sheep, this is Candy Cane.

I've been looking for you all day.

That was horrible.

Candy Cane, this is Black Sheep.

I'm right on schedule.

Say, "I'll see you later on tonight, honey."

Go, go.

I guess I'll be seeing you later on tonight.

Is that right?

You got it.

I'm pulling over right now.

I'll see your beautiful ass in the p.m.

-What was that about?

-Just wait.

Candy Cane, come on.

I knew it. These guys are so f***ing horny.

Get him going. Get him all worked up.

Then in the middle of it,

say, "Guess what? I'm a dude."

-No way! I can't do that.

-Come on, man! Come on!

It'll be fun.

Come on. Just do it.

Hey, there. Who's this?

-Rusty Nail.

-Nice, nice.

Well, Rusty Nail,

I hope you're doing better than I am.

This drive seems like it's taking forever.

Roger that, Candy Cane.

You got him. You got him.

It's easier sometimes if I pretend

the person I'm talking to is next to me.

Pretend I'm sitting there with you.

Just the two of us and the windshield.

All right.

Go, go. Tell him what you look like.

So, I'm 5'10". I got dirty blonde hair

down to my shoulders.

-I got blue eyes and really soft skin.

-This is turning me on.

If I were there, Rusty Nail,

you know what I'd do?

Tell me.

-Awesome!

-I'd make you feel good.

You would?

If I asked you,

would you unbutton my blouse?

Sure.

Then I'd take it off. So, now what?

What do you want to do to me?

-I've never really done this before.

-This is so classic.

I'd take off your bra.

Okay. You take that off.

No, no, no. We can't lose this guy. Go.

I couldn't hear that, Rusty Nail.

Rusty Nail? Sweetheart?

That was almost so good! Damn.

-Did we lose him?

-Yeah.

Sh*t.

You're a gifted CB prank caller,

when you commit to it.

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