Jim Jefferies: This Is Me Now Page #3

---

She's upset, but then she turns around,

"Oh, you're famous,"

and everything's fine.

Now, I don't want to spend

too much time talking about

American politics while I'm here.

You've got your own issues.

All right, look...

I know you broke away

from the European Union.

I don't understand what happened.

I know it's mixed, the opinion.

I don't know what's going on,

but then when I talk to you people,

you don't f***ing know

what's going on, either.

I'm never seen something

happening in a country,

where you're all like,

"No idea what's happening."

There's so many things.

Like, do you get rid of

the European people who are living here?

Or, like... in your hospitals,

you have 250,000 nurses

who are from like Spain and France

and all that type of bullshit, right?

Do you get rid of those people?

And if you do do that,

do you get back all the British people...

who live in Spain and France and all that?

'Cause I gotta be honest,

they're not your best people.

Right? Like...

you should have a TV show every night

called One In, One Out.

And it's like, "And who are we

getting rid of today?

Okay, well, first of all,

we're getting rid of Rosita.

Rosita is a nurse

who took care of the elderly,

who incidentally voted her out.

And..."

"And who are we getting back?

We're getting...

Barry!"

"Barry's a cab driver who won ten grand

on a scratchy and moved to Majorca."

Feels like a fair swap you got there.

See, immigrants are good.

You wanna have them, man.

Unless they're f***ing Mexicans.

I live in LA, you wouldn't believe

the problems we have with Mexicans.

F***ing dirty Mexicans.

They come over the border,

and they're taking all the good jobs.

They can't even speak English,

they're taking all the good jobs.

I don't know how they do it, but they do.

Sometimes I look at my son, and I think...

"If only he could pick fruit someday."

I have this woman who cleans my house

twice a week.

You wouldn't believe the amount

of white people who applied for that job.

Oh!

They were queued around the f***ing block,

and I was like, "Get the f*** away

from my house.

I don't like explaining everything twice."

This is what Trump reckons.

Trump reckons that the Mexicans...

are coming over the border...

and they're raping.

I don't know how, though.

It just doesn't feel like

the opportune time.

You're trying to flee a country,

you're dehydrated, you're in the desert.

That would be the last thing on my mind,

but that's because I'm not

as sneaky as a Mexican.

"They're coming over the border

and they're raping."

Sure, maybe some of them.

You know, maybe.

But some of every nationality rapes.

It's not like it's a Mexican thing.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes