Inspector Clouseau Page #2

- Please.

- I don't like to use them.

- I'm only trying to show you.

- I get embarrassed.

- Don't be. Say anything.

# Paris in the spring's a wonder to behold

# The streets are lined with gold in Paris

# My love jump in the Seine

# And it drove me insane

# If I may be so bold #

- A song.

- Yes. Thank you. Very good.

Now... just wind it back.

# Paris in the spring's a wonder to behold

#.. gold in Paris

# And it drove me insane #

Yes, not too much bass at all.

It's just some little technical fault.

I'm sure you'll sort it out.

Oh, yes, there was something.

Take a good look at me. Have you noticed

anything peculiar about me?

No, but you can't always tell by looking.

- I was referring to my dress.

- Your dress?

Now, look... Here, catch.

- You are armed. Correct?

- Correct.

- Let us assume that you want to arrest me.

- You are under arrest.

Oh, no, no. See, play the...

Let us assume that I resist.

You'd be a very foolish fellow

because I'm a deadly shot.

Yes, but how long would it take you

to reach your pistol?

- You'd be a dead man.

- Remarkable!

No hands. But...

.. observe my belt. 222s, miniature missiles.

Fires with deadly accuracy

up to a distance of 500 yards.

What a wonderful, wonderful... thing.

Yes. Not bad, is it?

Quite ingenious.

It's all done with the stomach muscles.

- Will you get the hang of it?

- Yes. I have a photographic memory.

Agh!

Hey! Look out for your pipe!

Oh. That's... that some wonderful,

wonderful underwear.

In case anyone throws you into the sea.

Yes, but how do you... have it laundered?

I should recommend dry-cleaning,

you stupid...

With your equipment and my finesse,

we'll give them a run for their money.

- Our money. Our money.

- You're right.

- I'm always right. It's a problem with me.

- Yes.

- Strange. I, too, have that problem.

- Yes.

- We have a lot in common.

- Oh, yes.

Our lives in the game of crime

and punishment are bound like lovers

inextricably together.

It's a poem.

You ought to meet my wife.

Your queen did not

bring me here to socialise.

Not my queen, my wife.

- I meant your wife.

- You don't know my wife.

But I'd be delighted.

Shall we say eight o'clock?

- Dinner?

- Charmed, I'm sure.

There he is. Let us run him down now.

Don't be stupid, Frenchy.

In front of Weavers house?

Good evening. You must be the inspector.

I am Lisa.

Call me Jacques. I hope

you don't mind your husband inviting me...

I'm not Mrs. Weaver. I am Lisa Morell.

- Haven't you been told?

- No, but then I like to find out for myself.

- I must see you alone.

- That's the only way.

But this isn't the proper place.

Then let's run away.

- No, I can't leave now. Trust me.

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