In and Out Page #4

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There are TV cameras, reporters.

See? They want pictures

of the gay guy!

I tried to reason with them.

I told them I was the

principal, and they...

they mocked me.

I'm sorry.

Could you talk to them?

Right away.

Class, page 58.

Learn all you can.

- Mr. Brackett.

- Yes?

Watch the hands.

Uh, good point.

Howard, are you gay?

Howard! Howard, please!

I'm sorry.

The jury's still out on this.

No way. He's been

here for how many years?

Come on. I always knew.

I say bravo.

It's a blow for freedom.

Good for Howard.

To quote Mr. Bob Dylan...

"How many roads must a man walk down...

"before we call him a man?"

Ed, don't. It's early.

Knew what?

And how many

seas must the white dove...

- Ed, please.

- Before she sleeps...

- Shut up, Ed!

- Trina.

We're talking about Howard.

Why are we

talking about Howard?

'Cause he likes dick.

Good morning, everyone.

How are you?

- Hey! Terrific!

- Fabulous.

Is that Xerox

still on the fritz?

- How are you, sunshine?

- Oh, fine.

Oh, look at you.

Dick who?

He's getting married

this week.

See? He's not gay.

I told you.

But think about it.

I mean, gay guys.

I don't wanna

think about it.

There's only two times

where it's OK to do gay stuff.

Two emergency situations.

What? Which situations?

Prison, when it's

a substitute, or guys in space.

Guys in space?

Not on purpose.

It just happens because

they're weightless...

and they float into each other

when they're asleep.

You're so lame.

I know it's wrong.

It's against, like, nature.

Basic plumbing.

What?

It's the human body.

It's divided up into

in-holes and out-holes.

Stuff is supposed to go in the

in-holes and out the out-holes.

But gay guys, they put

stuff in the out-holes.

Wait.

So is your mouth an in-hole?

Right. 'Cause you put

burgers in it and brew.

Unless you're sick, and puke.

Then it's an out-hole,

so it's wrong.

Guys, come on! Hustle!

You'll be late for class.

Let's go!

What's going on?

Mr. Brackett,

could you, like, excuse us?

Why?

Mike's being a jerk.

No. Just until

we're dressed and ready.

This has nothing to do

with the Oscars, does it?

No. Come on.

What is it, then?

Before the Oscars,

it was different.

I mean, you weren't...

I wasn't what?

Famous.

You guys.

Peter Malloy, network.

No, no, no. No more interviews.

I have nothing to say.

I have no comments.

I have no thoughts

on gay marriage...

I didn't see "The Birdcage. "

I'm having dinner.

Of course. I'm sorry.

You should be.

Why are you sitting?

You people. Have some decency.

You've been hounding me all day.

At my school, at my home.

You should be ashamed

of yourselves.

I am. Those leeches.

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