Ideal Home

Synopsis: A bickering gay couple must now deal with the unexpected task of raising a ten-year-old boy.
Genre: Comedy, Drama
Director(s): Andrew Fleming
Production: Brainstorm Media
Rotten Tomatoes:
91 min

I probably will.

But, you know,

part of me wants

to stick around

just to watch him die.



Oh, can we call a truce?


Thank you.



When have you ever

called for a truce?

You realize you're starting

an argument about a truce.

I think you are manipulative

and passive-aggressive,

and the truce starts now.

Ah! My favorite Mexicans.

Me llamo Mexico.

[woman] So we just got back

from Machu Picchu,

and there's nothing there.

Not impressed. Not impressed.

It just looks like

the Flintstones village.

I'm like, "This is it?

This is it?"

- Not impressed. Zero stars.

- What do you like?

- I like Epcot.

- [scoffs]

Bobby Flay,

I like him as a person.

You know he's

one of my best friends.

No, no,

no don't get me wrong.

He's got a wonderful face

and, you know...

[stammers] marvelous chutzpah.

Are you from LA?

I'm the mayor.

Wait, what?

- Of Santa Fe.

- Oh, I love that.

This close

to the border of Syria.

You can hear the gunfire.

You hear people screaming.


But the za'atar chicken

was the best I've ever had.

- Mouthwatering.

- And the screaming children

didn't bother

the food at all?

- Apples and oranges.

- You got to eat.

It's the city of holy faith...

- Oh.

- Santa Fe.

That's so cool.

I love that.


And I'm like, "Hey, asshole,

the fucking Dalai Lama

gave me that purse."

[glass clinks]

Ladies and gentlemen,

please join me in a toast

to two of the finest

hosts in Santa Fe.

What am I talking about?

The world.

Paul, Erasmus.

And if I may interrupt there,

Mr. Mayor,

let's not forget

all the little people,

all the worker bees

out there whoever they are.

- The little people.

- [all] Hear, hear.


Well put.

- I am with such an asshole.

- [laughter]

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Andrew Fleming

Andrew Fleming (born March 14, 1963) is an American film and television director and screenwriter. He directed and wrote or co-wrote the films Bad Dreams, Threesome, The Craft, Dick, Nancy Drew, Hamlet 2, Barefoot, and Ideal Home. He also directed, without writing, the 2003 film The In-Laws. He has also directed episodes of the television series Arrested Development and Grosse Pointe, among others. He studied filmmaking at New York University film school. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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    "Ideal Home" STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 17 Apr. 2021. <>.

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