I Love You, Alice B. Toklas! Page #4

I have a daughter.

Now I have a daughter.

My father congratulates you

on your wedding.

Very kind of you.

See, I didn't understand that.

My grandfather says it is too bad your

father couldn't have lived to see it.

The whole thing

is a misunderstanding.

You get to invite 100,

and we get to invite 100.

One hundred?

Harold, you heard?

Harold? One hundred.

My people in Los Angeles alone,

I got more than 100.

And what about my mishpokhe

in Philadelphia?

Speak to your father.

Maybe I could get 20, 30 more.

You've got one extra

now that Mr. Foley can't come.

Mrs. Foley, I forgot she's waiting

for me downstairs.

- Harold, you'll come to the funeral.

- Yes, Mother.

And bring your brother. Bring Herbie.

I don't know where he is.

I haven't seen him in three months.

Herbie is with the bums in Venice.

Well, anyway, I'm glad

you're coming to the funeral.

It's gonna make Mama very happy.

Hey, I'm going to the funeral

because it's making me happy.

A funeral is a happy thing, Harold.

In death, there is always rebirth.

Yeah, well...

What is this, a hippie supermarket?

Yeah. See...

See, these things are for sale.

You can buy these things here.

See the clothes?

There, those clothes are free.

They're old.

They're new to him.

Really what you're trying to say,

it's a form of Communism.

No, no, no, it's like love.

- You think I should buy something?

- Only if you need something, Harold.

Yeah, well, maybe I'll buy a book.

Hey, Harold, this is a groovy book.

"Quotations from

Chairman Mao Zedong."

Yeah.

- How much is that?

- That'll be a dollar, please.

- I'll take it.

- Thank you.

- It's for you.

- Oh, thank you.

Incidentally, I almost forgot

to tell you...

...that I'm...

I'm getting married.

Oh, that's groovy.

That's so groovy.

- To Joyce.

- Oh, Harold, that's great.

That's great.

He's just a kid. It's a stage.

When I was at NYU Law,

I lived in Greenwich Village.

Hippies. Used to be beatniks.

I saw those kids.

It's an act of rebellion.

I hope that's all it is.

He's probably got

a different girl every night.

I should have it so bad.

Look at that. Look at that one.

Unbelievable.

Oh, my darling,

a year's salary for 10 minutes.

Murray.

- Murray.

- What?

- What is your definition of love?

- What?

In relationship to marriage.

What love? Love is 10 minutes.

Love is before. Marriage is after.

You meet a girl one night, don't know

if you'll make it, that's love.

When you wake up in the morning,

that's marriage.

- Now you're talking about sex.

- Oh, no, Harold.

Marriage offers a man

the most beautiful moments in life.

You don't know

what a family is like.

Nobody can describe to you

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes