How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days Page #2

my account, my campaign.

- This is my baby.

- That's what I'm talking about.

They will not ace me

out of this.

- That's right.

- I heard that.

Okay.

Mullins', tonight.

"I heard that"?

Oh.

- Hi.

- Hi.

I- I don't really want

to talk about it, okay?

- Okay.

- Okay.

Okay.

Why does this always happen

to me?

Things were going great

for, like, a week and a half,

and then, all of a sudden,

it's over,

and I am mystified.

Seriously, I am mystified,

because it always starts out

so well.

Poor baby.

Let's just roll with this one.

Oh, Mike and I had

such a connection.

The first time that we had sex,

...it was so beautiful...

I cried.

You cried?

Yeah.

You mean, like,

one glistening tear

on your cheek, right?

No. I was really emotional.

I even told him

that I loved him.

After how many days?

Five.

Two.

It was how I felt.

I wanted to express myself.

Okay, well, what did he say?

Oh, Mike didn't have

to say anything.

I know that he felt the same.

But then he started

getting really busy,

and I didn't know where he was.

So I kept calling him

and calling him.

He was never home...

You kept calling him?

I didn't leave a message.

He didn't know it was me.

My number's blocked.

Oh, I-I'm sure he thought

it was one of his friends.

You know, men frequently call

their friends'

answering machines

and hang up 20 times.

Anyway...

I know why he dumped me:

I'm too fat.

- You're not fat!

- You're not fat!

Oh, Michelle, if the most

beautiful woman in the world

acted the way you did,

any normal guy

would still go running

in the other direction.

Oh, no. No guy would go

running from you, Andie.

You could barf all over him,

and he would say, "Do it again. "

That is both

incredibly disgusting

and categorically untrue.

If I did the things you did,

I'd get dumped, too.

Okay, family,

shoes off.

And breathe.

Out.

Okay, Lori,

let's start with you.

Well, the "Botox for Beginners"

piece is done.

Now, it's a little scary,

but mostly upbeat.

Now I'm on

"What Your Gyno Won't Tell You,"

which is also pretty scary,

but, you know, upbeat.

I finished my research

on deadly pedicures,

about the woman who contracted

that fungus

from the unsterilized tools.

Yeah.

It's a terrible story.

Although, surprisingly...

upbeat!

Marvelous.

What's next for

"'How to' with Andie"?

Well, I've been

working on something

that's kind of different.

It's...

It's a political piece,

and it's...

No.

Andie, you work at

Composure Magazine.

We are fashion,

trends, diets,

cosmetic surgeries,

salacious gossip...

that's Composure.

- Okay, but...

- Look,

Andie, okay...

the column is new for you.

When you turn it

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