Horse Feathers Page #5

I brought you two dunces.

Come in, dunces.

Here they are, 10 cents a dunce.

Well, all you need now

is a bowl of cherries.

Find yourselves a couple of seats.

Now, let us go on with our lecture.

I wish you'd go on

without your lecture.

What do you think of that slide?

- I think he was safe at second.

Now, the circulatory system!

Here is the liver.

What, no bacon?

I'd send that back if I were you.

The liver, if neglected,

invariably leads to cirrhosis

You are all familiar

with the symptoms of cirrhosis.

Sure! So roses are red,

so violets are blue,

so sugar is sweet,

so so are you.

I bet I know who it is.

To protect the heart, or cardium,

Mother Nature has provided a sac,

called the pericardium.

Any questions?

Yes. When you gonna

cut the watermelon open?

Psychopathically,

the duodenum is in inverse ratio

to the coordination of the palyphus.

Is this stuff on the level, or are you

just making it up as you go along?

Why, everything I told you can be

found in the simplest anatomy book.

I'm sure my students will bear me out.

- We'll bear you out.

Let that be a lesson to all of you.

This school

will be here long after you're gone.

That goes for you, too.

Leave me alone!

Let us follow a corpuscle

on its journey.

Oh, my mistake,

I thought I was a corpuscle.

There is constant warfare

between the red and white corpuscles.

Now, baboons, what is a corpuscle?

- That's easy.

There's a captain, then a lieutenant,

then there's a corpuscle.

That's fine. Why don't you bore a hole

in yourself and let the sap run out.

We now find ourselves among the Alps,

simple people who eat rice and shoes.

Beyond are more Alps, and the Lord

Alps those who Alp themselves.

The blood rushes from the head to the

feet, gets a look at those feet,

and rushes back to the head again.

This is known as auction pinochle.

We first listen to your hearts beat,

and if your hearts beat anything

but diamonds and clubs, your partner

is cheating. Or your wife.

Now take this point, for instance...

That reminds me. Where's my son?

Well, the human body

takes many strange forms.

Now, here is a most unusual organ.

The organ will play a solo

immediately after the feature picture.

Scientists examine rats, or

your landlord who won't cut the rent.

And what do they find? Asparagus.

Now, on closer examination...

This needs closer examination.

In fact, it needs a nightgown.

Baravelli, who did this?

Is this your picture?

It doesn't look like me.

- Well, take it away

and hang it in my bedroom.

Now, who did it?

So you're the culprit.

Young man, you can't

burn the candle at both ends.

Well, I was wrong.

I thought it was a candle.

Well, you must be punished.

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