Helicopter Mom Page #2

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like I'm 10 years old.

Yeah, dude, this is a bad one.

I know.

But at least she cares.

Yeah, she cares

a little bit too much.

There's another dick in my face.

I give up.

I have a question for you.

How in the world

did you find the time

to plaster those awful

pictures of me all over school?

What pictures?

The one... come on.

Who else was with me

at the dentist?

Nobody.

It was just you.

What happened at the dentist?

They're the pictures of me

when I have the...

The, like, gauze stuffed

in my mouth?

Aren't they great?!

Yeah, no. They're awful.

Come on!

They're embarrassing.

That... did everybody laugh?

At me.

They were laughing at me.

Well, It's kind of fun.

That's like a love thing.

No, it was rough.

Oh, I'm so sorry.

It was a lot of that.

On your 17th birthday.

I know.

This should be a great day.

It should be, but it wasn't.

I'm so...

It was... it was hard.

Let's pause for a moment

and remember the day,

for me, the moment

you popped out of my cooch.

Oh, God!

Wish time.

Okay. All right.

All right.

Okay.

Okay.

One wish.

Mm-hmm.

And I have to be in it.

You are. Okay.

Yay! Happy Birthday.

Oh, I didn't get it.

I didn't get it!

Can we be done, please?

Done?

It's just...

It's too much, mom.

I love you so much.

Okay, ready?

Happy Birthday. Okay.

Okay.

Okay. All right. Okay, you ready?

Yeah. Yeah. Mm-hmm.

Three, two, one.

Two, one. Okay.

Okay.

We're still doing that,

but... okay.

Uh, I think you need

to check the printer.

This...

This printed very light.

Will you check on that?

Yeah, sure.

Thanks.

Uh, satisfactory, Fitch.

Story of my life.

And that was beautiful, Lloyd.

Thank you.

Do you write a lot of poetry?

No.

You know,

you should do it more often.

Poetry?

F*ggot!

At least he can read

and write, Brad.

Carrie, what do I need

to write for, okay?

Look at me.

I got a body built for success.

And an I.Q. Lower

than room temperature.

Yeah? Well,

that didn't stop Ryan Lochte.

Ew. Really?

Gross, Brad.

Lloyd, did you submit anything

to the fine arts assembly?

No.

Well, now you have.

You're going to read this.

You've gotta share this

with as many people as possible.

The thing is, uh, is... is...

Is Lloyd can't do crowds.

No.

Really, though.

Just think about it.

Okay, guys,

see you all next time.

So, um, you think I could maybe

read some of

your stuff sometime?

I really like poetry.

Uh, no, no.

No, I-it... It's not good.

I don't... I don't like, um,

like showing it to anybody.

Much less reading it out loud.

I ca... I can't.

Well, um...

IF you change your mind,

let me know.

Thanks, Lloyd.

Yeah, sure, drew.

Oh.

Hey.

Thank you.

Are you seeing anyone?

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