Goon Page #3

Synopsis: Doug Glatt of Orangetown, Massachusetts is floundering in life, he having no real sense of where he fits - having a "thing" as he calls it. He doesn't have the book smarts to become a doctor like his adoptive father or his gay adoptive brother Ira. And he doesn't have the passion that his best friend Pat has for his self-appointed work, hosting a hockey based cable call-in show, Hot Ice. Because his fists and skull are figuratively like steel, Doug is good at the enforcement part of his job as a bouncer despite he having a naturally friendly childlike approach to dealing with people and situations. An incident involving Doug in the stands of an Orangetown Assassins minor league hockey game leads to its coach, Rollie Hortense, offering Doug a tryout with the team as its enforcer, the tryout regardless of the fact that Rollie has no idea if Doug even knows how to play ice hockey (which he doesn't). Learning just enough hockey skills, Doug makes the team. Rollie, however, quickly believes
Genre: Comedy, Sport
Director(s): Michael Dowse
Production: Magnolia Pictures
  1 win & 13 nominations.
 
IMDB:
6.8
Metacritic:
64
Rotten Tomatoes:
82%
R
Year:
2011
92 min
$840,657
Website
2,827 Views


- Ross "The Boss" Rhea.

- Nice hit, eh?

Suffers third-degree concussion.

Lucky he wasn't f***ing killed.

Then he comes back,

he's scared shitless out there.

The pressure's starting to mount

on this kid and he can't hack it.

He's missing practices,

hanging with the wrong people.

There are rumours, the f*** tapes -

it still starts to add up.

So that summer,

he says he wants to trade.

They sent him down to Halifax.

He's with my brother.

All right, that's all I can

f***ing stand, ladies.

You know why we're losing?

Because you're f***ing sh*t.

Doug,

he wants to offer you a contract.

This is a farm club.

This is not some league where the

team is named after a radio station.

It's one step under the big league.

You go there,

you watch Frenchie's back.

Maybe you could snap him out of

his slump, snap that team awake.

- Thank you so much.

- You done good.

It's a great opportunity.

I'm so glad you see that.

- Did you draw that?

- What?

- The wolf.

- Of course.

- What's its name?

- Loopi.

Frame it

to remember your days here.

Thanks for Loopi, Coach.

My cousin Sherilyn, she works

at this titty bar in Dartmouth

and she has

this dance move she does

where she drags her jagged coke

nail across her C-section scars

and she's been asking me

to come watch her

and I've been saying, "It's

kinda gross cos we're family,"

but I don't actually

find it that gross.

- This is me here.

- This one.

Dougie, beat the sh*t out of

some jagoffs for me.

- I'm going to be okay, right?

- You're the f***ing Thug.

You're going to be

f***ing awesome.

- I love you, bud.

- I'll miss you, buddy.

Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

There he goes! That's my friend.

I know Doug "The Thug" Glatt.

I remember when his dick was

a little f***ing Christmas light.

Prrrrrr! Halifax! Halifax!

# Yo, yo, yo, Morenas

Que tal? Como esta usted

# Pronto, pronto, pronto,

pronto, pronto, chu cha

- # Chu cha

- # Baila! Yo, baila! Yeah, Baila...

Hello?

Jesus.

Hello!

- Ferme I'ostie d'porte!

- I'm sorry. Nice to meet you...

- Close the f***ing door.

- Thanks for having me.

Hmm.

- Jesus, it's early.

- I'm Doug Glatt.

- Gord Ogilvey.

- Nice to meet you.

So you're the tough Yank

who beats the sh*t out of everyone.

- I don't know about that.

- Glad to have you here.

- Thanks. I'm happy to be here.

- Yeah, my wife left me.

Said she was sick of hockey.

Sick of hockey.

- I'm sorry.

- It's pretty much a shitter.

No. Thanks. That's so nice of you.

No, I'm good, thanks.

This is Stevesy. Anything

you need, you tell me. He'll do it.

- Don't hesitate.

- I'm Glug Datt.

Doug Glatt.

Park Kim, left winger.

Paying for med school.

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Jay Baruchel

Jonathan Adam Saunders Baruchel (; born April 9, 1982) is a Canadian actor, and screenwriter. He played Josh Greenberg in the FXX comedy television series Man Seeking Woman and played the lead character in Judd Apatow's comedy series, Undeclared. He is known for his voice role as Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III in the How to Train Your Dragon franchise, and for his roles in comedy movies such as Knocked Up, Tropic Thunder, Fanboys, She's Out of My League, Goon, This Is the End and The Sorcerer's Apprentice. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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