Free Guy Page #2

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WAITRESS:
You done?

Sorry. Are you closing? (CHUCKLES)

Yes. We usually don’t put the chairs on the tables, one-small-coffeeover-four-hours girl. You really like that game, huh? My 12-year-old nephew’s addicted. Seems like everyone’s obsessed with it.

Oh, Free City? Ah. No. I, uh, have a lawsuit against the publisher and the evidence that I need is in the game. So then I had my codes…

Oh… I wish we weren’t closing so I could hear more about this.

(SIGHS)

(ALARM BEEPING)

GUY:
Good morning, Goldie.

Medium coffee, cream, two sugars. Medium coffee, cream, two sugars.

GUY:
Actually, I think I’d like to try a cappuccino today.

(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYS)

GUY:
Ooh. “Cappuccino.” I enjoy saying that. It’s like a waterfall made of letters.

Excuse me?

GUY:
I’d like to try a cappuccino. Please.

But you get a medium coffee, cream, two sugars. That’s what you get. That’s what everyone gets. Every day. Always.

GUY:
Well, I…

Somebody’s about to get shot.

GUY:
Officer Johnny.

GUY:
I just thought I’d try something different today, you know? Whatever. Right? Yeah?

GUY:
Hi.

GUY:
Ha! I’m just keeping you on your toes. Coffee, cream, two sugars, please. I’m joking.

(ALL LAUGH)

GUY:
Just keeping you on your toes. I was kidding.

MAN:
He was just kidding!

GUY:
Oh, you think I’d deprive myself of your baristic artistry? No way, no how. Mmm. That’s hot. (EXHALES) It’s like Jesus washed my tongue… but right before he finished, he finally told my dad, “He’s good enough.” (CHUCKLES, SIGHS) Thank you so much. Officer Johnny!

Have a good one, Guy.

(WHISPERS) Cappuccino.

GUY:
Don’t have a good day…

(STAMP CLICKS)

GUY:
…have a great day, I guess.

Okay. Good day to you.

Everybody down on the ground!

(WOMAN GASPS)

Nobody try to be a hero. This will all be over soon.

GUY:
That’s the girl.

We’ve been over this. You tried to talk to her yesterday, it didn’t work. It will never work. She’s wearing sunglasses. We don’t mess with the sunglasses people.

GUY:
Maybe I’ll get some sunglasses of my own.

What? What are you talking about? You can’t do that.

GUY:
Oh, my God. What am I doing? Hi.

ROBBER:
What’d you say?

GUY:
Hi. I’m gonna need your sunglasses. Ooh. Ow. I’m just gonna… I’m gonna need your sunglasses for a sec.

ROBBER:
What the hell do you think you’re doing?

Go back to your side, man.

He’s just an NPC. Waste that mother…

GUY:
Okay, just need to borrow them for a sec, okay?

Back off! I said, don’t!

GUY:
Just real quick. Real quick.

Stop!

(GRUNTING)

You broken or somethin’? I’m the robber! You’re the guy who lies down and takes it!

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