Freddy Got Fingered Page #2

who is blond! Blond hair!

Are you a blond? Are you a blond?

- The blond...?

- He's at lunch, so I'll take the package.

- He's at lunch?

- Mm-hm.

His wife is dead.

What? Linda?

- Yeah, yeah, Linda. She's dead.

- Oh, my God.

So I should tell him.

Probably best I tell him.

- Who are you?

- I'm...

I'm Quincy. I'm with the Coroner's Office.

I'm like a police officer.

So I should see Mr. Davidson

cos I'm a police officer.

OK. I...

He'll be at that restaurant.

- He'll be devastated.

- OK...

God, he loved Linda.

- He did love Linda.

- I know.

I think it's wonderful

when two people love one another, and...

...even though there's a chance one of

those two people will die a horrible death...

...that doesn't make me fear love.

I'm not afraid of love.

Could I be your boyfriend? I love you.

- Get outta here!

- No, no, no. I was just thinking...

A woman is dead. Linda is dead!

I thought we could grieve together

over the dead Linda, over the dead woman.

F*** off!

You're a skinny loser!

- Someone call Security.

- Don't.

Sh*t!

- Security!

- Don't call them, OK? I gotta go.

Tell Hanna-Barbera to go f*** themselves.

I got twelve Korean teenagers in a tiger cage

that can draw a f***ing dog wearing a cape.

OK. I'm looking for a Mr. Dave Davidson.

- Are you Dave Davidson?

- No.

- David Davidson?

- My name's Peter.

- I'm looking for a David Davidson.

- I'm a woman.

- Did I ask what sex you are?

- No.

- Did I ask if you were David Davidson?

- My name is Cheryl.

- I'm Dave Davidson. Is there a problem?

- You're Mr. Davidson?

- Yeah, officer. Is there a problem here?

- I'm not really a cop.

My name's Gord, and I want

to show you my drawings.

Your drawings? Are you kidding?

Mr. Davidson, I'm an animator. I've got

this idea I wanna pitch to you. It's a cartoon.

It's a cat with super powers.

It can see through wooden doors.

He solves crimes, he can fly.

My friends and I think it's hilarious.

He flies like this. It's great.

Right, well, I'm glad

your friends enjoy it, OK?

Tell me something, what do you want?

I want you to help me make it

into a TV show.

You just barge into a restaurant

dressed like a f***ing English bobby...

...and expect someone to give you a TV show?

Uh, I don't know. Um...

- Yeah.

- Do me a favor? Leave me alone.

- Please, please...

- Valet?

- Please, just look at my drawings.

- Yeah, OK. Fine.

It's X-ray Cat, but instead of seeing through

everything, he can only see through wood.

So if there's something on the other side

of a wooden door... See the criminal?

- I see the criminal. I see the door.

- He sees the criminal and saves the day...

...to the dismay of the police cos they hate it

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