Final Exam Page #2

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I should remind you you're

on the modified honor system.

I'll be leaving the room,

and the grading assistants

will be watching you.

And they are both frustrated Nazis.

And if they observe any cheating,

they have been instructed to alert

a highly skilled sniper that I've

placed in the Williams Tower.

He was a gun bearer for the

eagle scout down in Texas.

You mean Charles Whitman,

one of my favorites.

And he's anxious to bag

a few students on his own.

Are there any questions?

He was a real craftsman,

an excellent shot.

And he played it out

to the bitter end.

This guy was dropping

people from blocks...

I hate to interrupt you

on such a lovely note.

But back to business.

Hey!

This ain't the test I been studying.

(laughing)

Well, if you're

gonna buy tests,

you might as well buy them

from somebody who's in the know.

I'm perfectly willing to be

bought if the price is right.

Good luck.

Oh, and don't worry.

I took the test,

and I only missed three.

(laughing)

Have a nice holiday.

And I'll be seeing many of you

back here next semester

in remedial chemistry.

(laughing)

All right. Everybody settle

down and get to work.

I think you've got enough problems

there in front of you without having

to worry about running out of time.

When you finish,

give your paper to one of us

and then you may leave quietly.

- Hello, Lisa.

- Hi.

- Ready to end the semester'?

- Yeah.

I've just about OD'd

on the small town lark.

I'm really ready for

bright lights for awhile.

I remember when I wanted that too.

A little booze, boogie

and then puke your guts out.

That's fun.

I'm not so sure

you're too much beyond that now.

Well, that's the nicest thing

anyone said to me in a long time.

Those kids they

hate taking chemistry.

At least it's new to them.

For me, it's the same old

thing year in, year out.

And then if I do get them to

understand and they graduate,

then I have to start all over again.

Then why don't ya leave?

Because I love the sweet young

girls that throw themselves at me.

(laughing)

Why pull down the shades?

There's nobody left on

campus that we're fooling.

You don't think

I'll kiss and tell, do you?

No.

But I do.

I don't care who knows around here.

But if that red-headed

wife of mine ever finds out,

I'm dead.

So, how about a

little night cap tonight?

Oh, I don't know.

It's your last chance for

some nice firm flesh for awhile.

I leave in the

morning for the big city,

and you're gonna be left with nothing

but that sagging old wife of yours.

She must be almost 30 by now?

Hey, wait a minute.

You're talking about

the woman that I...

( laughs)

Well, mother of my guppies?

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