FDR: American Badass!

Synopsis: An outrageous, over-the-top spoof, FDR: American Badass is the untold true story of our country's greatest monster-hunting president!
Genre: Action, Comedy
Director(s): Garrett Brawith
Production: Screen Media Ventures
  1 nomination.
93 min

There's nothing more we can do.

Mr. Roosevelt,

I'm so very sorry.

Eleanor can take you home

this afternoon.

All right, thank you, doctor.

Louis, can I see you

out in the hallway for a moment?


Shut up.

What's the skinny, pill pusher?

It's not good for me to leave the Gov by himself.

There's something I need

to show you.

Do not grab your dick and ask me

to guess the temperature.

Motherf***er, I'm not playing

hide the keys

from the jailer either,


Put the gun away.

What I'm about to show you

affects not only

Governor Roosevelt,

but possibly all of mankind.

I don't understand--

why are we in the morgue?

This is what I wanted

to show you.

What the f***, bro?

Sorry, wrong one.

This is what I wanted

to show you.

That thing's dead, right?

Yes, I had a male nurse

check him out.

I won't go into details,

but I owed him a favor.

Anyway, while he was

shaving him, he found this.

Is that a belly tattoo

of a swastika?

The detail's amazing--

Those f***ing Germans, man,

their craftsmanship

is unmatched.

How do you know the werewolf

is German?

Besides the swastika,

we found this on him.

But why?

We're not at war with Germany

anymore-- this doesn't add up.

I'm not a mathematician,

I'm a damn doctor!

And I didn't train on wolves.

Plus, he's a German.

We have to call in

the authorities.

You shut that whole

spitting sh*t

out of your face,

do you hear me?

Do you hear me?


Good, now--

I'm going to pull my Model A

around the back

while you bag

this son of a b*tch up.

Then you are going to help me

load him into the automobile.

And if you breathe a word

of this to the press out there,

so help me God, I will come up

in here with an axe

I will split your ass in two

like a Granny Smith apple.

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Ross Patterson

Ross Patterson aka St. James St. James, Patterson is an American actor and author who has appeared in over 20 films including The New Guy, Accepted, and the 2006 Sundance film The Darwin Awards. Ross has also written, starred in, and produced six films; $50K and a Call Girl: A Love Story, 7-Ten Split, (with actress Tara Reid), Screwball: The Ted Whitfield Story, Darnell Dawkins Mouth Guitar Legend, Poolboy: Drowning Out the Fury, and FDR: American Badass!, as well as a 2007 pilot for MTV entitled The Barnes Brothers which did not get picked up. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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    "FDR: American Badass!" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 5 May 2021. <https://www.scripts.com/script/fdr:_american_badass!_8079>.

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