East Is East Page #2

You bastard!

[Mullah] Bismillah.

[Class] Bismillah.

Irachmah.

[Class] Irachmah.

Neerahim.

Neerahim.

[Mullah] Bismillah.

Bismillah.

[Mullah] Irachmah.

Irachmah.

[Mullah] Neerahim.

Neerahim.

[Mullah] Eh Laha.

Eh Laha.

[Mullah] Illalah.

Illalah.

Ho Mohammed Dar.

[Class] Ho Mohammed Dar.

Rasoo Lallah.

Rasoo Lallah.

[Shouts from outside]

- Night, Abdul. - Night, Jo.

Your wife's got a lot to look forward to, pal!

Gunga! Drink now!

- No, Mark, I don't drink. - It's tradition!

[Mark] He's gettin' married tomorrow! Drink, Gunga!

Take no notice, get off home, mate.

Leave him alone, Mark.

Shut it, fat twat! You'll get a budgie up the bum!

[Gasps and shouts in Urdu]

[Saj] Yes!

[Excited chat]

Let me see, Sajid.

[Talking in Urdu]

Sajid?

Uh-oh, here we go.

Come on, bastard.

I bloody fix him.

Hey, stop looking! You make a bloody fool of me, eh?

Jammy little bleeder.

What the hell's he done now?

Done? I tell you what he done. He make a bloody show of me!

Bloody family always makes a bloody show of me!

Now, how I looking mullah in the bloody face,

'cause your son got bloody tickle-tackle!

What are you goin' on about, what tickle-tackle?

Mullah sees, all the bloody children seeing!

Well, he must be seeing things because they were all done.

She's right, George.

You no believe me? You bloody looking!

Sajid, come here.

- Get stuffed. - Hey, hey, language.

I'll stuff you in a minute, now get 'em off.

[Whimpers]

Come on, let me have a look.

I've wiped your shitty arse before now.

It's still there.

You sees? Is all you bloody fault!

It's nowt to worry about, you can get him done.

I know who should've got done.

[Snorts]

No bloody funny, you sees.

Just get this fixed. This has to be cutting.

Hey! Come here, bastard!

[Saleem] We draw 'em at college.

It protects the end of the penis.

That's dead good that, Saleem.

I wouldn't be doing art if I couldn't draw.

[Meenah] You won't if Dad finds out, Mr Engineering Student.

- Foreskins are dirty. - They wouldn't be there, then.

- Why cut it off? - [Tariq] It lessens feeling.

- It doesn't! - [Tariq] How would you know?

You haven't used yours.

Yes, I have.

You can't have this thing.

It no belong to you.

Not our religion, see?

No worry about it. I buy you nice watch.

at his age, George?

Your son goes bloody hell with this. But we fixes.

He's not.

It's my house and I bloody control it.

- Your house? - Yes.

Whose name's on the rent book?

Maybe your house. My bloody shop money pay bloody rent.

And what d'you think I do in there morning till night?

- Counting mushy f***in' peas? - I no bloody know.

When I look you with Annie,

talking, smoking, smoking, talking.

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