Dumb & Dumber Page #2

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cost me 200.

Hey!

Chicks love it.

It's a shaggin' wagon.

What's with

the briefcase?

It's a love memento.

The most beautiful

woman alive,

I drove her

to the airport.

Sparks flew,

emotions ran high.

She actually

talked to me, man.

Get outta here.

Oh, yeah yeah.

Tractor beam...

Sucked me right in.

Anyway...

She left this

in the terminal

and flew to Aspen

and out of my life.

What's in it?

Man... I would

have to be a lowlife

to go rootin' around in somebody else's

private property.

- Is it locked?

- Yeah, really well.

Harry:
There's two of them.

One of them's got a gun.

Did you pay

the gas bill?

Hey...

Do you realize what you've done?

I'm sorry.

I say we bail.

Okay.

Briefcase ain't here.

They must have

taken it with them.

Well, he's got to

come home sometime.

Maybe we should

trash the place,

send him

a little message.

I don't think he's going to get

that message, Joe.

I mean, the guy's got worms

in his living room.

Well.

Oh, I got

a better idea.

"I tought I taw

a puddy cat.

I did. I did. "

I can't believe

we drove around all day

and there's not

a single job in this town.

There is nothing,

nada, zip!

Yeah, unless you want

to work 40 hours a week.

Pfft!

Here. I'm going to

go to the store.

Okay, just get

the bare essentials.

This is the last

of our dough.

Hey. What do I

look like?

# Take a little walk

to the edge of town #

# Go across the tracks #

# Where the viaduct looms #

# Like a bird of doom #

# As it shifts

and cracks #

# Where secrets lie

in the border fires #

# In the humming wires #

# Hey, man, you know

you're never coming back #

# Past the square,

past the bridge... #

# Past the mills,

past the stack... #

# On a gathering storm #

# Comes a tall

handsome man... #

Cripes!

# In a dusty black coat

with a red right hand. #

Excuse me,

little old lady.

Uh, do you have

change for a dollar?

Change?

No, I'm sorry.

I don't.

Oh... well, uh,

could you do me a favor

and watch my stuff here

while I go

break a dollar?

- Of course.

- Thanks.

Hey. I guess

they're right.

Senior citizens,

although slow and dangerous

behind the wheel,

can still serve

a purpose.

I'll be right back.

Don't you go dying on me!

- Ugh!

- Where's the booze?

I got robbed

by a sweet old lady

on a motorized cart.

I didn't even

see it coming.

Oh...

- Harry?

- No...

- No...

- Harry. Come on, Harry.

Cheer up.

It gets worse, Lloyd.

My parakeet Petey...

- Yeah?

... he's dead.

Aw...

Oh, man.

I'm sorry, Harry.

What happened?

His head fell off.

His head fell off?

Yeah, he was pretty old.

Ugh!

That's it.

I've had it

with this dump!

We got no food.

We got no jobs.

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