Deranged Page #2

'You should be

ashamed of yourself,

'leaving me here

more than a year now.

'I'm all alone

here in the dark.

'Shame, Ez!'

Mama, I wrote to you.

'Don't get no letters here.

'Now, why don't you come

and bring me home?

'Bring me home...

'Bring me home...'

I'm comin', Mama!

'And so he went

to bring her home.

'Perhaps, in his twisted mind

'he imagined she would look

the way she had in life.'

Mama. Mama.

Oh.

I'm takin' you home, Mama.

Home.

She's the girl of my dreams

And her fair face beams

She's the sweetheart

of Sigma Chi

What in the hell

do you think you're doing, Ez?

N-nothin', sir.

What do you mean?

Oh, come on.

You know what I mean.

Well, she wanted

to come home, Sheriff.

- She told me she did. Otherwise I...

- Now, look, look, look.

This is a 35-mile-an-hour zone,

and you were going 50

if you were going anything.

Now, let me smell your breath.

Good God!

What in the hell is that?

What have you been drinkin', Ez?

Goddamn!

Nothin', sir, er...

It's just a hog I butchered is all.

Er... I forgot to take it out of the truck.

It kind of got to smellin'.

Jesus Christ, you ain't kiddin'!

I'm gonna let you go this time, Ez,

but don't let it happen again, you hear?

And for Christ's sake,

bury that, will you?

Yes, sir.

I sure will... er, first thing.

No more speeding, you hear?

Yes, sir.

I mean, no, sir.

All right.

I apologise for calling you

a hog, Mama.

Get you in bed.

You need to lie back down.

Fix you up.

You won't even

know yourself, honest.

See your room?

Just like it used to be.

Oh, Mama.

You're in terrible shape.

Gonna have to put you

back together

like that old egg in the fairy story.

I'm glad you're home.

Here's your Bible.

Your bell.

So he brought her home.

And what now?

Now he intended to restore her.

And to that purpose

he began reading everything he could

about embalming... taxidermy.

But it wasn't an easy job.

His mother had been buried

for over a year now.

There were lots of repairs to make.

He tried to patch her

with fish skin, with wax,

with any substance which he thought

resembled human flesh.

It wasn't until later

that the idea of using

real flesh occurred to him.

'Ironically enough,

it was his friend and neighbour

'who accidentally gave him

the inspiration.'

God is great, God is good,

let us thank him for this food.

Amen.

Oh, and please take good care

of old Miss Johnson.

Pass the bread to Ezra,

will you, Brad?

What's the matter

with old Miss Johnson?

She kicked the bucket.

She didn't kick the bucket.

She passed away.

My Miss Johnson?

My old Sunday School teacher?

- The very same one.

- I don't believe that.

It's right here in today's paper.

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