Deconstructing Harry Page #2

a blowj*b at|my father's funeral!

You stop right there!

Don't pull the trigger!

lf it makes you happy, my life's|been going badly.

l've been miserable. My girl|left me for a friend of mine.

lnsomnia. l've got herpes.

l squandered all l have|on shrinks...

and lawyers and whores.

Fatigue syndrome.

l won't stand up here on this|f***ing roof...

with aworld-class meshugana|c*nt and beg for my life...

lf you want, shoot me!|You interrupted me...

-Whose life were you exploiting today?|-You'll be happy.

lt was re-writing.

An autobiographical thing from|when l was first married.

Harvey Stern married too young...

to escape his parent's apartment,|arent-controlled cornucopia...

of guilt, and|sou-deadening criticism.

By day, he labored in a shoe store.

By night, he glowed intensely over|his Remington portable.

Are you coming to bed?

l'm in the middle of a sentence.

-l lost my thread.|-l feel rejected.

We never sleep together anymore.

l don't knowwhat it is.|l'm just not attracted to her.

-What does she do to put you off?|-lt's my fault, too.

l lie, telling her|l'm too wrapped up in work...

when l'm actually hyper-sexually|aroused. Just not for her.

Who for?

Anyone else.

Shehas a sister.|l'm dying to fuckher.

A doll, thicklips.

Her friend Jennifer?.|l dream of her.

l never cared about African|history but she's spellbinding.

The truth is,|l never see a woman..

that l dont wonder|what she's like in bed.

l met a great hooker!

A hooker?

Beautiful. From China.

Unbelievable body.

Schooled by tradition|in the art of pleasing men.

Fifty clams.

lsn't that cheating on your wife?

No. lt's not cheating.|She's a hooker.

lt's not like a love affair.

You don't feel for a professional|like you do for yourwife.

She comes over,|rubs on her oils...

Oils?

lnto the sack.|She takes you to the moon.

Lay half a C-note on her|she's history.

Where would you do it?

l couldn't have her|at my apartment.

You get a hotel room. lt's what|l do when the wife's home.

l don't have the dough.|Fifty's a lot in itself.

Maybe a friend'll let you use|his place.

You're always bitching about|your sex life.

l'm trying to help.

l tell her you|gave me the number?

Not my name!|Don't use your real name.

Of course. Not the real name.

You borrow a friend's apartment,|you use his name.

That way it'll be on the bell.

Good fortune smiled on Harvey.

One of his best friends,|Mendel Birnbaum, was hit by a car,

and hovered between life and death|at New York Hospital...

freeing up a great bachelor|apartment...

for Harvey's tryst.

Donning the otherman's robe...

Harvey became|the swinger Mendel Birnbaum...

and waited...

his Oriental passport to paradise.

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