Deadpool 2 Page #2

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I mean, it's not like I have

a lot of strong role models

to draw off of for Todd.

Hey. Look at me.

You are not your father.

Besides...

I will never, ever

let our child be named Todd.

But here's the thing,

isn't that how it always works?

Like in Star Wars,

men are destined

to become their father...

and then have consensual sex

with their sister?

I think you missed

big, big chunks of that movie.

No, I'm pretty sure

Luke nailed her.

Baby, that's Empire.

The point is, kids...

they give us a chance

to be better than we are.

Better than we used to be.

You're a lot smarter

than I look.

I'm gonna go make dessert.

You get the strap-on.

Let's make a super baby.

Pretty sure it doesn't work

that way, but we can try.

What about Krystal?

But with a "K"?

It's too stripper-y.

Kevin with a "K"!

No, too stripper-y, too.

Uh, Earl!

He's gonna go straight to jail

if we name him Earl.

What about Bruce?

No.

Get down.

What?

Baby? Baby?

I'm okay.

Thank God I didn't have to use

the cream cheese spreader.

Please.

Please. Please.

Baby, I'm so sorry.

No!

Papa, can you hear me?

Is it just me, or does

Do You Want to Build

a Snowman? from Frozen...

sound suspiciously like

Papa, Can You Hear Me?

From Yentl?

Papa, can you hear me?

And nobody f***ing realizes it.

Go home. You've been here

for three days, okay?

You smell like somebody sh*t

in a Civil War wound...

after it had become gangrenous.

They should've just

amputated it. Why sh*t in it?

Doesn't make any sense.

I love Frozen.

I loved her. I loved her

like an ocean loves water.

An ocean is water.

More importantly, I liked her.

I really liked her, you know?

George Michael was right.

I'm never

gonna dance again. F***!

He's dead, too.

At least we still have Bowie.

Yeah. We still have Bowie.

I'm sorry.

Shot after shot,

it's not gonna change the fact

that I think you're...

Are you pissing? Are you

urinating right now?

You're making the face that

you make when you urinate.

- Is he pissing?

- I'm on it!

There you go, Dopinder.

If you want to be

a contract killer...

you gotta handle a mop

before you handle a gun.

Although I don't

quite understand

how they are at all similar.

Well, they both have handles.

Now, leave me.

Go home, Wade.

I don't have a home,

Weas, you know. I got a...

F***! Okay, I'm fine.

I'm fine.

You know what "fine"

stands for, Wade?

F***ed up, insecure,

needy, and emotional.

According to the...

- Kubler-Ross.

- Yeah.

According to

the Kubler-Ross model...

denial is just one of

the five stages of grief.

Jesus Christ, Buck!

No more speaking lines for you.

"I'm thinking it over!"

Motherfuck!

F***!

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