Craig Ferguson Just Being Honest

Synopsis: In his second comedy special for EPIX, Craig Ferguson puts his sometimes cheeky, always irreverent spin on universal topics from sex and drugs to rock & roll-including his hilarious experiences with Mick Jagger and Kenny G.
Director(s): Jay Chapman
 
IMDB:
7.6
Year:
2015
75 min
39 Views


It sounds

like it'd be fabulous.

Like, "You wearing

your shingles to Gay Pride?"

"Fucking bet I am, bitch.

I'm gonna be covered in shingles

and smelling of weed."

But it's not like that

at all, shingles.

It's like, "Oh, God!

Aah, it's so painful, shingles.

I hope cats get this."

But people get mad at you

if you say your catchphrase.

People get mad at you if

you don't say your catchphrase.

People get mad at you if you do

what I do for a living.

They just get mad at you

if you just talk.

I think people are mad at me on

the way to the fucking theater.

I think people are offended

before they leave

the fucking house.

"You ready to go to the show?"

"Yep."

"Are you offended?"

"Fucking right, I am. Let's go."

So, if people get offended

at one of my shows,

I think, "What did you think

was gonna happen?

"What did you think

was gonna happen?

I mean, what"...

Anyway, what I'm saying is

people get offended

all the time.

Let me just apologize now,

do you know what I mean?

Let me just apolo...because

before this night is through,

I guarantee that each and every

one of you will be offended

by something that I say.

Save your applause until

it's your turn, all right?

Not that I'm gonna offend you,

of course,

because I happen to believe what

everyone in this room believes.

Craig, that's crazy. You can't

believe what everyone believes.

I don't. I only believe what

everyone in this room believes.

Everyone who's not here is

a stupid asshole.

Am I right,

everybody in this room?

Yeah!

I'm not judging them.

I'm just being honest.

That's what you say, by the way,

if you want to say

the worst shit you can think of

and get away with it,

you just add to the sentence,

"I'm not judging.

I'm just being honest."

Then you can say what the f*ck

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Craig Ferguson

Craig Ferguson (born 17 May 1962) is a Scottish-American television host, comedian, author and actor. He was the host of both the syndicated game show Celebrity Name Game (2014–2017), for which he has won two Daytime Emmy Awards, and of Join or Die with Craig Ferguson (2016) on History. He was also the host of the CBS late-night talk show The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (2005–2014). In 2017 he released a web show with his wife Megan, titled Couple Thinkers. It ran for six episodes from October 9, 2017. It is available on YouTube. After starting his career in Britain with music, comedy and theatre, Ferguson moved to the United States where he appeared in the role of Nigel Wick on the ABC sitcom The Drew Carey Show (1996–2004). He has written and starred in three films, directing one of them, and has appeared in several others, including several voice-over roles for animations. Ferguson has also written two books: Between the Bridge and the River, a novel, and American on Purpose, a memoir. He was naturalised as a United States citizen in 2008. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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    "Craig Ferguson Just Being Honest" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 26 Jan. 2021. <https://www.scripts.com/script/craig_ferguson_just_being_honest_6013>.

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