Clerks. Page #3

- Thanks.

- How much money did you leave up there?

Like, three dollars in mixed change

and a couple of singles.

This time in the morning,

people just get a paper or coffee.

- You're trusting.

- Why do you say that ?

How do you know they're taking

the right amount of change

or even paying for what they take ?

Theoretically, people see money

on the counter, no one around,

they think they're being watched.

Honesty through paranoia.

Why do you smell like shoe polish ?

I needed shoe polish

to make that sign out there.

- Smell won't come off.

- [ Door Opens ]

You think anybody

can see us down here ?

Why, you wanna have sex or something ?

- Can we ?

- Really ?

- l was kidding.

- Like you can't get enough of me.

- Typically male point of view.

- How do you figure ?

Show some bedroom proficiency,

you think you're gods.

What about what we do for you ?

Women as lovers are basically the same;

they just have to be there.

- Be there ?

- Making a male climax

isn't at all challenging.

Insert somewhere close,

preferably moist, thrust, repeat.

How flattering.

Now, making a woman come,

therein lies a challenge.

You think so ?

A woman makes a guy come,

it's standard.

A guy makes a woman come,

it's talent.

- And l actually date you ?

- Something wrong ?

I'm insulted. Believe me, Don Juan, it

takes more than that to get a guy off.

Just being there, as you put it,

is not enough.

Hmm, I've touched a nerve.

I'm astonished to hear you

you trivialize my role in our sex life.

It wasn't directed at you.

I was making a broad generalization.

You're making a generalization

about broads.

Those are my opinions

based on the few women...

who were goodly enough

to sleep with me.

- How many ?

- How many what ?

How many different girls

have you slept with ?

- Didn't we have

this discussion once before ?

- We might have.

- l don't remember. How many ?

- including you ?

It better be up to and including me.

- Twelve.

- You slept with 12 different girls ?

Including you ? Yes.

- Ow ! What'd you do that for ?

- You're a pig !

- Why'd you hit me ?

- Do you know how many different men

I've had sex with ?

Do l get to hit you after you tell me ?

- Three.

- Three ?

- Three, including you.

- You only slept

with three different people ?

- I'm not the pig you are.

- Who ?

- You !

- No, who are the three, besides me.

- John Francin and Rob Stanslik.

- Wow.

That's why you should feel like a pig.

You men make me feel sick.

- You'll sleep with anything

that says yes.

- Animal, mineral or vegetable.

Vegetable, meaning paraplegic.

They put up

the least amount of struggle.

After dropping a bombshell like that,

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