Caddyshack Page #2

I'll call you back.

Caddyshack.

All right. I'll be right up.

Take over for me.

I'll be right back.

So I jump ship in Hong Kong

and make my way over to Tibet...

...and I get on as a looper at a course

in the Himalayas.

A looper?

A looper. You know, a caddy, a looper...

...a jock.

So I tell them I'm a pro jock

and who do you think they give me?

The Dalai Lama, himself.

The 1 2th son of the Lama.

With flowing robes, grace, bald, striking.

I'm on the first tee with him.

I give him the driver.

He hauls off and whacks one.

Big hitter, the Lama. Long!

Into a 1 0,000 foot crevice

right at the base of this glacier!

Do you know what the Lama says?

"Gunga galunga. Gunga gunga da gunga."

So we finish 1 8 and he's going to stiff me.

And I say, "Hey, Lama!

"How about a little something,

you know, for the effort?"

And he says, "There won't be any money...

"...but when you die, on your deathbed...

"...you will receive total consciousness."

So I've got that going for me...

which is nice.

Your ball is right over there.

Go straight and you can't miss it.

Mrs. Havercamp, you go that way

and it's right over....

Mrs. Havercamp, you need this.

I might, at that.

Mr. Havercamp, your ball is right

over here, sir.

No, Mr. Havercamp,

the green is over there. It's that way.

Sir, just bend a little that way

and swing away and...

...just straight up. That's fine. Great.

That's a peach, hon!

I'm hot today!

Did they die on you, Tony?

I can't pay you. Lou has to.

Where is he?

He's out.

I can see he's out, numb nuts!

Give me a Coke.

Wait a minute! That's only 50 cents!

Lou raised the price of Coke.

He's been losing at the track.

Well, I ain't paying no 50 cents

for no Coke!

Then you ain't getting no Coke!

You've had it, Noonan!

Come on, open this door!

Watch it, jerk!

Come on out, Noonan!

What's going on?

Open up. Come on.

Sure you don't need me for nothing?

I think you and I ought to go outside

and have a little talk.

My friend, you have no idea how happy

this is going to make me.

I'm going to enjoy this thoroughly.

I hope that means both of us.

Couldn't we just arm wrestle

or something?

That's my brother! Give me a hand.

Whip his ass, Tony!

Now, who did you say the jerk was, jerk?

What is this?

What does the sign say?

"No bare feet."

What does that sign say?

"No fighting."

What does it mean?

No fighting.

You owe me one gumball machine!

What's that candy wrapper doing there?

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