Boy Page #2

Bloody egg.

What are you? An egg.

Rotten egg.

Scrambled egg. Boiled egg.

Poached egg.

Bloody hell.

(SPEAKS MAORI)

Crayfish again.

(MAN SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY ON TV)

So if you fellas live in the middle,

may as well stay home

because no bloody good anywhere else.

(ALL LAUGH)

What do you want to do, eh, Leaf?

We might as well just stay here, eh?

Oh, man, had a massive day

at school today.

There was a big-ass rumble at school.

Most of the children were involved.

I wasn't, because I'm a good boy.

I don't like fighting, eh.

Far, lots of things happened,

but what else?

Oh, yeah.

I seen my girlfriend, Chardonnay.

She invited me back to her house

and we had McDonald's to eat.

It was yum.

Why do you like to eat

other people's rubbish, eh, Leaf?

(DOGS BARK

AND THUNDER RUMBLES)

Storm's coming.

Who are you?

Boy.

What boy?

Alamein.

Alamein.

Yeah.

Alright, I'm your dad.

Oh! Hey, Dad.

- Hey.

- Welcome back.

- Good to see you.

- Good to see you.

How's it been going?

Good. How's it been going with you?

(CHORTLES) Good.

Now, where's Mum?

My mum, you know, your nanny?

Oh, she's not here at the moment.

She's at a tangi down Wellington.

Someone passed away.

- When's she getting back?

- Sometime next week.

Rocky, come over here. Meet Dad.

Dad, this is Rocky.

Rocky, this is Dad.

Yeah, how are you, Rocky?

Good to see you, man.

Too much.

Say hello, egg.

Hello, egg.

(PASSENGERS LAUGH)

That's Kelly.

Yeah, niece, I'm your uncle...

Alamein.

Oh, great. Another one.

Well, these are my mates

Juju and Chuppa.

JUJU:
How are you doing?

ALAMEIN:
They're basically your uncles.

So, you guys want a cup of tea?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, a cup of tea sounds good.

(ALL SLURP)

So, you fellas want to come inside?

Yeah.

- Yeah.

- Yeah.

Yeah, let's do that.

Seen 'E.T.' yet, the movie?

No. What's it about?

Spaceman.

Oh, space kid, really.

He gets trapped on Earth

and him and this kid fly around

everywhere on a bicycle.

I seen it four times.

(SIGHS) Nice house, bro.

- It's a shithole.

- Oh, yeah.

Oh, I don't know, bro.

These old houses are made of

native timber... expensive stuff.

Not many people know that, eh?

I mean, these door handles

are made of copper. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, if I was a thief,

the first thing I'd do

is I'd take all the copper

and I'd melt it down

in a furnace or a fire

and then sell it

to a copper dealer, eh.

Alright then, I guess

it's time for presents.

Go on, boys, go get them presents.

What presents?

- The stuff from the car.

- Oh, yeah.

I might go give them a hand.

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