Batman and Harley Quinn Page #3

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I couldn't just let him go. He knows

the secret location of my hidey-hole.

He'd blab to Batman for sure.

Could'vejust killed him, dumb-ass!

Nah, I'm not a criminal anymore.

Plus, he's kinda too cute to kill.

And anyway, maybe I should help out.

Sounds like Ivy

could be in some serious...

Don't bother yelling for help.

This dump is condemned.

Nobody in the whole building

but us, Nightwig.

"Wing-u

Heh?

It's "Nightwing."

Really? Huh.

Guess I was thinking of

that goofy mullet you used to have.

Yeesh. That was like

a whole decade of bad hair days.

Sticks and stones, lady.

I've taken trash talk

from bigger criminals than you.

"Criminals"? if you hadn't noticed,

I went straight!

I'm a friggin' waitress already!

Oh, golly, that's right.

I stand corrected.

Check this out, smart guy.

My pile of rejection letters.

Evidently, the Mayo Clinic's

got some dumb policy

of not hiring

former costumed supervillains.

Just like

every other hospital in the world.

There're other jobs.

Sure! I got a ton of offers.

"We got a very special role for you

in Bad Girls After Dark. "

And you got to love this one.

"A tasteful pictorial to

be shot in Thailand for legal reasons."

You say I'm a criminal.

They say I'm a whore.

Well, I'm sick of other people

telling me what I am!

Whatever.

Got to say, you gave me

a heck of a workout.

Got me all sweat-stinky.

(SNIFFS) Ew!

Definitely could use a shower.

I think better when I don't reek.

Still got to figure out

what to do about Nightwig over there.

Hmm, what to wear? What to wear?

Sucker-punch Harley?

Arctic Harley? Street-luge Harley?

Roller-babe Harley?

Steam-punk Harley. Goth-Lolita Harley.

Hey, Nightwig, is it true

you used to be Robin?

Huh. Ain't that a kick in the pants?

Little Boy Wonder all grown up.

Okay, now...

Don't be getting any funny ideas.

Too late!

It's funny.

I always kinda thought

you and Batman didn't like girls.

Wait, what?

You know, that book?

With the headlights

and the eyeball-gouging?

I had to write a paper on it

back in college.

Got a B-minus.

Look, Harley...

Pretty lonely these last few months,

if you know what I mean.

You don't meet

a lot of likely prospects at Super-Babes.

I'm kinda choosy.

I'm not saying I don't want to,

'cause that could be nice.

All sorts of wrong, but nice.

- Right now, I just really need to find...

- Shh!

Face it, Sugar.

I got something you want, and you

sure-as-shootin' got something I want.

So, be a good boy and maybe...

Maybe mama will give you a cookie.

The things I do for Gotham.

I'm taking that as a "yes."

Mmm...

WOODRUE:
It's disgusting!

It's an abomination!

You think I like swapping spit

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