Bad News Bears Page #2

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You gotta get under the ball.

There's too many gnats out here.

Give me a ball.

What the hell is that,

a baggie full of bacon?

- I'm on Atkins.

- What?

I have to eat all the time

to keep my metabolism up

so my body becomes

a fat-burning machine

so a**holes like you

don't give me sh*t all the time!

Easy, sport.

All right, get ready. It's coming at you.

You might want to back up.

Guys, it's a bunt.

You seemed to imply you're

going to hit it out here.

Yeah. Engelberg, that's a bunt, bud.

You're supposed to pick it up,

throw the guy out at first base, okay?

Here we go again,

picking on the fat kid.

There's laws against this, you know.

Harassment!

You better shut up before I tell

somebody you touched my pecker.

Engelberg, will you throw

the goddamn ball already?

Okay, listen up.

Listen very carefully.

Rule number one:

Don't mess with the Cadillac.

Calm down,

it's a piece of crap anyway.

For your information, it's a classic.

And I got half a mind to find your old

man and kick him in the nuts so hard

he can never foul the earth

with another little sh*t like you.

So you keep your trap shut, okay?

We're gonna get laughed at. We only

have a week till the season starts.

Everyone's gonna laugh at us.

This game is about a lot more

than talent, son, believe me.

I'll say. I left more talent floating

in the shitter this morning

than all you retarded

jerk-offs put together.

You got a problem, dingleberry?

Give me a few minutes,

I'll squeeze out a new coach too.

I'll teach you, you little short kid!

- Jesus.

- I'll teach you to mess with me.

Does your mama change

your underwear too, you little girl?

I'm out there with the kids for nothing.

And I'm getting very tired

of having to justify myself

to parents who drop the kid off at 4:00,

call me at midnight wondering

why he's so pissed off.

- Ray, you got a minute...?

- I want to say to them, "I'm not

your babysitter. I'm your coach."

Oh, yeah.

Mr. Bill Deaver.

Hey, just checking in.

Just checking in. Listen, Ray,

I wanted to see

if maybe Jake could get a little

more playing time this season.

He's been working hard.

It would really mean a lot to him.

Yeah, sure.

- Why not?

- Really? Well, great.

Thanks a lot, Ray.

Guys.

You know, I spoke to your boy.

You know what he said to me?

- What?

- He said all that matters to him

is that we win.

Even if it means giving up

a little game time.

- Really?

- Yeah.

I was really touched by this.

He's a hell of a team player.

Thanks, Ray. I appreciate it.

That's the kind of

horseshit I'm talking about.

- Exactly.

- Unbelievable.

Hey, Buttermaker, you made it.

And you brought...

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