Awaydays Page #2

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Wouldn't you?

Big sky, man.

I'm serious. 'New Dawn Fades' on low.

Noose around the neck.

Off we jolly well pop.

- Well, this is me, mate.

- All right.

- Have you got far to go?

- Nah, just down the road.

Big sky, man.

'I was in with Elvis.

Elvis and the Pack.

Fags, man. F***ing sound, get me?

F*** off, you.

Oi!

You d*ckhead!

Sh*t.

- Arlrood.

- All right. All the lads here.

- Any Huddersfield?

- Not yet, like, no.

Be a scrap later, though, yeah?

Look, mate,

I've grown out of all that sh*t.

Yeah, looks like it and all. Have you

told the Pack you've jibbed 'em?

- It's different for me.

- I know it is.

Look, I mean it, kidda.

They're a gang of pricks.

Just look at Godden. Do you know

how old that c*nt is? He's f***in' 30.

The c*nt's got about six kids,

and he's organising the Pack

like he's still in the f***ing army.

- Just let me stand with you.

- No, mate, I can't. I'm sorry.

- Why not?

- Because, my friend, they won't let you.

- How come, like?

- Because they don't f***ing know you.

That's how come.

Tell you what, though.

You doing anything tomorrow?

Do you want to go to Probe?

- You want to go to Probe?

- Deffo.

Mooch around town, just you and me.

Be a laugh.

- OK.

- Sound.

I'll meet you outside at 2:00.

- Owlroodi-doodi, Cartykins.

- I was about to do one then.

The road to hell is paved

with good intentions, Carty.

Come 'ead.

- This can't be genuine.

- What is it, like?

Bowie live in Santa Monica. It's the only

recording of him doing 'My Death'.

Bootleg, like,

but it's usually 25 rips. 5.50.

- What?

- I'll get it for you.

- Behave! It's a fiver.

- What's a flim between hombres?

So we go in the Masquerade. Eugene

is snogging Heidi, and who walks in?

- No!

- I coulda died.

- Excuse me.

- I'm like, "Swallow me up."

- Hideous.

- Excuse me.

Hideous, sweetcakes? I'm like, "Am I

seriously witnessing this car crash?"

Hey, Bela Lugosi. Are we gonna get

some service here or what?

Ask nicely.

Ooh, the Bowie bootleg.

Aren't you the subversive one?

5.50. Just call it a fiver.

- Thank you muchly.

- F***ing hell, Carty la!

- I didn't think you had it in you.

- Well, you don't know me, do you?

Welcome to Hades.

So this is chez Elvis, eh?

Cool gaff, la.

We aim to please.

F***'s that?

It's an everyday reminder

of the absurdity of life.

And the absolute certainty of death.

- F***ing hell. What are these?

- Forest Hills.

Where did you get 'em?

Curiosity killed the cat, Cartypants.

- Never even seen these in the shop.

- You wouldn't.

- How much, like?

- Not for sale, la.

- Come on, EI.

- Haven't got your size.

- How do you know?

- I just know.

Now, skin up.

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