Ashens and the Quest for the Gamechild

Synopsis: Featuring Ashens insane fictional search for a piece of electronic tat for the fabled Game Child, accompanied by fan favourite Chef Excellence (a human version, not the bloody puppet), and together they try to overcome the odds - and all common sense - to lay our hands on the fabled Game Child, an old handheld video game. But a shadowy figure, aided by my irritating nemesis, wants the game for their own dastardly ends.
Genre: Adventure, Comedy
88 min

If you do not, then Chef will be pretty sad.

And when Chef gets sad.

Chef get angry.

Chef get angry!

Angry! He gets so angry!!!

Eat your food, kids! Eat it all up!!!

Eat your food, please. For Chef.

Very, very angry! Eat your food! Eat your food.

Yeah, alright mate, calm down.

I'm going to grab a bite to eat, so it was lovely to see you again... Yeah?

I know a great place.


When did you move back?

A few months ago, I lost my job.

If you lost your job, why are you dressed as a chef?

I'll always be a chef. A true chef, is a chef regardless of his employment status.

Fair enough.

I loved that job. I had a company car in the shape of a baguette.

The ladies loved it.

Then they went and replaced me with...

Ooh... Calm down, there. You were the Ronald McDonald of cheap italian food. I get it.

Oh right, Stuart!

I've seen the stuff you do on YouTube you know.

Reviewing bits of tat on a brown sofa.

It's not exactly The Matrix, is it?

Maybe the Third one...

See, Geoff?

This is exactly why we don't-

Look um, it's getting late, I've got loads of stuff to do. Nice to see you again.

Are you going? I mean... w-w-w... Do you live around here?

Umm... Yeah, yeah, just up near the park.

Anyway, see you later.



How's it going?

You don't have anywhere to sleep, do you?


Please can I stay with you?

Uhh... I'm not really a "come and stay on my sofa" kind of guy.

Oh, come on Stuart!

Please, just for old times sake. Please!

Ple-ple-ple-ple-ple-please! Please!!!

Please let me stay with you!!!

Okay! Okay, but it's just for one night, yeah?

Just for one night. Just one night.

Come on.

I have one question.

Why were you there, when you had that right next to you?

Don't judge me!

Come on! Come on, you're letting all the heat out.

Rate this script:(3.50 / 2 votes)

Stuart Ashen

Stuart Clive Ashen (born 16 December 1976), commonly known by his online alias Ashens (), is a British comedian, animator, actor and online reviewer of various products, which are usually video games, toys, and food. The items he reviews are often of low quality or are poor knockoffs of well-received products. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018


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