All About Steve Page #3

And you know what? Colin Powell once said,

"There's no secret to success."

Well...

clearly he doesn't understand the power

of spectacular skivvies.

There she is!

[Boots Squeaking]

Oh, wow.

Nice boots.

[Chuckles]

Thank you.

You ready?

Mmm.

- So nice to meet you.

- [Father] Yeah.

- Oh, yeah. It's raining outside.

- Hold this. The door.

- [Father] Let me get that door for you.

- Thanks again.

- Good luck. Shalom.

- [Sniffs]

[Thunder Rumbles]

I have to admit, at first I wasn't so sure

about this whole blind date thing...

but now I'm surprised

our parents didn't set it up earlier...

especially knowing my mother.

Must be some kind of conspiracy.

Oop. You good?

Oh, he's so not gay.

[Thunder Rumbling]

Oh, man, it's coming down.

- It's really coming down, huh?

- [Keys Clinking]

I thought maybe we could go to, uh, Ernesto's.

They've got great tamales.

And they have this drink

called, uh, "El Gallo Negro."

It means "the black rooster."

- You have, like, two of those drinks, it's like you-

- [Gags]

- Oh. You okay? You okay?

- [Gagging]

Mmm. Mmm. Mmm.

Wait, wait.

What-What about-What about your parents?

- What about my parents?

- Your mom.

Mmm. She's married,

and you're not her type. Mmm.

No, I just mean-

I just mean we're right in front of home.

Whoa. I just-

I just mean we're right in front of their house.

And I have no problem with that whatsoever.

- [Horn Honks]

- Oh, Steven. Oh, Steven.

- [Horn Honks]

- Is that Steven with a "V" or Stephen with a "P-H"?

- It's with a "V."

- [Chuckles] I thought so.

- Yeah.

- Thought so. You know, There's over...

a million Stevens with a- a "V" in the country.

It's much more popular than the "P-H" way.

Twice as popular, in fact.

I think it was the Brits who prefer their P-H's.

- [British Accent]

Yeah. Not as much as their fish and chips.

- [Laughing]

Steven, we really should commend our mothers...

- for predicting

our all-encompassing compatibility.

- I got it.

I mean, we're-we're both

professionally compatible...

you in TV,

and- and me in, uh-you know, in newspapers.

I'll help you. Also noticing we're both

quite sexually compatible.

I don't know if you noticed like I noticed,

but we're both wearing blue...

- and what are the chances of that?

- Ooh.

- Okay?

- Yeah. Yeah.

- Of course, the chances are probably pretty good-

- [Groans]

Given that blue is one of the most popular

of the three colors.

Do you, uh- Do you like crosswords?

- Sure I do.

- [Gasps]

- Really?

- Yeah. [Groans]

You know how when the perfect clue

gets stuck in your brain...

and it just explodes

into this bouquet of mixed emotions?

I'm- I'm aroused.

I'm intrigued. I'm a- I'm amused.

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