Zmd: Zombies Of Mass Destruction

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Well, well, well.

What do we have here? A whale?

Oh, boy.

Will you get your hands off me?

Okay, God. All right, fine.

- What do you say, Harry?

- Hey there, Joe. How you doing?

Frida?

- Hey, Mr. Miller.

- Brian. Brian!

Hey, look, it's Frida.

Just got out of his acting class.

God damn it,

get your ass out of the car, dipshit.

Jeez, Dad, anger management.

- Hey, Frida.

- Hey, Brian.

Well, hey there, stranger.

When did you get back?

- Like, a month ago.

- A month?

So the hotshot Princeton girl has no time

to say hey to us island folk, huh?

He's just teasing, sweetie.

Brian, did you see Frida, honey?

- She's like, four feet in front of me.

- Actually,

I'm taking a bit of a break

from Princeton, so...

- Dropping out, huh?

- So, you're gonna be around?

- You and... We should...

- It's just a hiatus. I don't know.

Dad kind of needs me

at the restaurant, and...

Great, yeah.

Well, lookit, Frida, honey,

I've been wanting to tell you how awful

that whole mess over in Iraq is.

I always vote...

We always vote Democrat

in every election and...

What the hell are you talking about,

we always vote Democrat?

- I don't vote for no pussies.

- Joe!

Look, Frida's glad we're bringing

democracy to her home country.

Am I right, Frida?

Actually, I'm not from Iraq.

- What's that?

- I'm from right here.

It's my dad who's from Iran.

- Iran.

- Iran.

Well, I think it's just a tragedy.

All that blood for a little bit of oil.

You know what?

It's always a pleasure seeing you guys,

but I gotta get going.

Well, take care now, Frida.

- Bye, Frida.

- Say goodbye, Brian.

That guy doesn't like his burger.

It's not done enough.

They're always complaining, these people.

Hi.

How's it hanging, Mr. Abbas?

I'm ready to wash me some dishes. Wow.

It looks really nice back here.

Did you do that?

What the f*ck do you think about it?

You can just come to work

anytime you want to?

- Band practice ran a little late and...

- Band practice ran a little late?

I don't care

if the band practice ran a marathon.

You come here to work on time.

Yeah, I mean,

- you know I respect the grill, man.

- No.

You Americans just dance around

with happy, happy,

and your goddamn bacon cheeseburger.

Derek, you're fired!

Okay, wow.

Hi.

- Here you go. Well, thanks, Cheryl.

- Sure thing.

Say, listen, I have just one question for you.

What's that?

Are you ready

for the future of Port Gamble?

Cheryl, we have got some big plans

coming up for the next term.

Yeah, well, this is probably

as good a time as any to tell you

I'm running against you, Mayor Burton.

- Hi. Hi.

- Hi, how you doing?

- How you doing today?

- Vote Burton.

Well... Miss Banks.

- See you on the campaign trail.

- Count on it.

Hey, Sam. Vote Burton.

God

is not a product.

He is not a television show.

He's not a can of processed meat.

God cannot be purchased cheaply

at the Wal-Mart.

We have to earn God through our deeds,

rising in his estimation, as we hope

to rise to paradise in the afterlife.

But the people in this country

are possessed

with a madness,

with betrayal,

with greed.

Aborted little babies.

Islamic terrorists.

Homosexuals getting married.

Friends, these sins

are but temporary delights in this world.

But they are a ticket straight to hell

in the next!

God

is watching.

And God will strike back soon.

Amen.

Amen!

That's it for today, brothers and sisters.

Remember, tonight's bingo night.

I made $50 last month.

This was not a good idea, Lance.

- Come on, Tom.

- Lance.

- I told you to ease up on all the queerisms.

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