You Can't Have It Page #3

---

Yeah, you know, doctors are so smart.

Come here, hey, hey.

Look, I know I talk a lot, okay, but...

Look, there are worse things

in life than ejaculating

into a cup while watching porn.

Well I do that now, just not into a cup.

Well, we can make a

sex tape if you want.

Or we could find a

girlfriend and have a threesome

for a while, until she gets pregnant.

Very funny.

No, you can pick the girl.

Oh, you're so considerate.

Okay, how about that one.

I'll see if she's interested.

Keep dreaming, tutz.

If you touch any of these

girls, I'll kill you.

Okay, sounds good.

Have a good time tonight.

See you at 2:
00.

5:
00.

What was that about?

Oh my god, do you think Bill told her?

Not a chance, Bill

practically lives in secrecy.

Lucky b*tch.

Lucky?

Okay look, her husband

is cheating on her.

He spends every possible

moment in this shitty bar.

Hey!

I'm sorry, I love you very

much but this is a shitty bar.

What the hell do you see in him?

Hello, he's got looks,

and charm, and brains,

and yeah, he's really, really cute.

And I thought I had low standards.

He's got a wife.

And she's gone so go talk to him.

I will.

I will, geez, just give me a...

Just give me a minute.

Hey, you think Sandra's hot?

Yeah, she's all right.

Would you bang her?

Are you serious?

Oh come on, it's a

simple man to man question.

Dude, you're a sex addict.

Yeah, maybe.

No come on, seriously,

there's gotta be somebody

that you're interested in.

Oh, Karen?

Mmm hmm.

Jackie, Jackie, Jackie wants your ass.

I'm hooking you up with Jackie,

I'm gonna give her your number.

You a lefty?

Look, don't change the subject, okay?

I'm hooking you up with Jackie.

No.

Yes.

No.

A**holes.

Oh, and there's Fernando.

Dude, calm down, it's

not even a big deal.

He fired me, I've never

been fired from a job before.

You'll find another job.

A government job's

supposed to be secure.

Look, just don't do

anything stupid, all right?

It's only a job.

Just a job?

Let me tell you something,

if I see my boss, I will murder him.

Whatever you say, bro.

Let's go.

His hair never moves.

Did you say he looked nice?

No, I said he...

What was that, what was that?

He made me look twice

to see if it was him.

Oh, right, right, made me look twice,

his hair looks nice, right?

What's up, dude?

Hey, what's up man?

I'm Craig.

Bill.

Hey, Tyler.

What's that?

You shake like my grandma, dude.

Fernie!

Don't call me that, man.

Oh come on, lighten up, geez.

Not today man.

All right, let's just

throw some darts, all right?

Well I saw Tammy pulling out of here.

Yeah, she was here a little bit ago.

What, she's not gonna stay?

No, she went to checkout

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes