You Can't Cheat an Honest Man Page #4

There's too much of the tomboy in you.

There you go. Get me up!

Get me up!

Give me a hand.

- How about a ticket?

- I got a dog on my foot.

Now he's biting me. Aah!

...before leaving the box office.

No mistakes rectified!

Boss? It's time for your bath, sir.

How time flies.

Seems only yesterday it was Monday.

- You sure runs on schedule.

- Yes, I do. Yes, I do.

Don't open that door until I come back.

I can hear the bell.

Boss, the sword-swallower's got tonsillitis.

Can't go on.

Tears of Falstaff.

I haven't swallowed a sword in 20 years.

I'm taking on the personality

of a Mexican jumping bean.

First the contortionist gets rheumatism,

then the sword-swallower gets tonsillitis.

Hope nothing happens to that fan dancer.

Till I get rid of this cold, anyway.

What is that?

Ah, c'est bon, as they say in French.

Perfume de la mountain goat.

Come on, Queenie,

let go of that provender and give.

Give, Queenie! Give, Queenie!

Come on!

Good girl.

Hold it in your trunk a little longer.

Try to heat it up a bit.

~ I'd rather have two girls at 21 each ~

~ Than one girl at 42 ~

Enough!

Gimme a towel.

- These aren't big enough to dry your face on.

- Maybe you better use less water.

Quite right there.

Uh-uh.

- Now, boss, look out.

- What is it?

- There's ladies.

- I thought the cassowaries got loose again.

You better put on your robe.

You might catch cold.

Yeah, thanks. Thank you.

Uh-oh.

Uh, uh and uh.

40 cents and 5 makes 45.

Five more makes half a buck.

Ooh, money, money, money, money.

Beautiful Whipsnade money.

Oh, help! Bergen, help!

Bergen, help! Help!

Help! Ohh, help.

- Charlie? Have you seen Charlie?

- No.

Charlie?

- Have you seen Charlie?

- No, I haven't.

- Charlie!

- Bergen!

Bergen!

Charlie. Blacaman!

Blacaman, the lions have got Charlie.

Bergen?

Ohh, poor Charlie.

- That's that.

- Bergen, help! Help!

Charlie? Charlie.

- It's about time you got here.

- Which one are you in?

- How do I know? Get me out of all of them.

- Blacaman. How did you get in there?

Don't change the subject.

How do I get out?

- Charlie's in one of these animals.

- Come on, boys.

I'm just north of his liver.

Oh, boy.

- Come in!

- Oui, that is he.

Will you help him?

We'll have you out in a minute.

All right.

I wish I had a flashlight.

OK.

Easy, boys. Easy.

What are you doing, dancing or wrestling?

Easy, boys. Easy, boys.

Easy.

Ah, ah. Ah, daylight.

Oh, Blackie, old boy, boy.

Wait a minute, Blackie.

My foot's caught on a tonsil.

Open it up! Open it up!

Open up. Open it...

Oh, don't do that. Leave it open.

Get me out of here.

Get me out of here.

Oh! Oh, you dog, you.

- Oh, dear.

Rate this script:4.0 / 2 votes