You've Got Mail Page #3

Don't romanticize them.

It'll keep them from jumping

down your throat.

SCHUYLER:

What's the competition?

One mystery store, Sleuth,

at 78th and Amsterdam...

...and a children's bookstore,

Shop Around the Corner.

- It's been there forever.

- Cecilia's store.

Who's that?

Cecilia Kelly.

Lovely woman. I think we might

have had a date once.

Or maybe we just exchanged letters.

You wrote her letters?

Mail. It was called mail.

NELSON:
Stamps, envelopes...

- I've heard of it.

Cecilia had beautiful penmanship.

She was too young for me...

...but she was enchanting.

- Enchanting?

- Her daughter owns it now.

Huh. Too bad for her.

[KNOCKS AND DOOR OPENS]

Ah.

MAN:
Excuse me, Mr. Fox.

- Yeah.

JOE:

My father is getting married again.

For five years, he's been living

with a woman named Gillian...

...who studied decorating

at Caesar's Palace.

Is it porcelain?

Rubber.

KATHLEEN:
Once I read a story about a

butterfly in the subway, and today...

...I saw one.

It got on at 42nd

and off at 59th where...

...I assume it went

to Bloomingdale's...

...to buy a hat that will

turn out to be a mistake.

As almost all hats are.

JOE:

Listen to this:

Every night a truck pulls up

to my neighborhood bagel place...

...and pumps about a ton of flour

into underground tanks.

The air is filled with white dust

which never seems to land.

Why is that?

KATHLEEN:
Confession: I've read

Pride and Prejudice about 200 times.

I get lost in the language. Words like:

"Thither."

"Mischance."

"Felicity."

I'm always in agony over whether

Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy...

...are really going to get together.

Read it.

I know you'll love it.

JOE:

The purpose of places like Starbucks...

...is for people with

no decision-making ability...

...to make six decisions

just to buy one cup of coffee.

Short, tall, light, dark...

...caf, decaf...

...low-fat, nonfat...

...et cetera.

Mocha frappuccino grande.

JOE:
So people who don't know

what the hell they're doing...

...or who on earth they are

can, for only 2.95...

...get not just a cup of coffee...

...but an absolutely

defining sense of self.

EMPLOYEE:

Tall, skim, caramel macchiato.

JOE:

Tall!

Decaf!

Cappuccino!

Tall, decaf cappuccino.

GEORGE:

Bummer!

A Fox Books superstore.

Quel nightmare.

It has nothing to do with us.

It's big, impersonal...

...overstocked and full

of ignorant salespeople.

But they discount.

But they don't provide any service.

We do.

KATHLEEN:

So really...

...it's a good development.

You know how in the flower district

there are all those shops...

...so you can find whatever you want?

This is going to be the book district.

If they don't have it, we do.

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