You, Me and Dupree

(ALL CAUSE OF YOU PLAYING)

CARL:

You have very beautiful toes.

Did I ever tell you that?

Yes, you have.

I'm not even...

I'm not even a foot guy.

They're not even webbed.

Are you concentrating

on the game,

or are you just lusting

after the feet of your

soon-to-be wife?

I'm concentrating.

(CHUCKLING)

(KNOCK ON DOOR)

NEIL:
Carl, it's Neil.

Are you there?

No, we're not.

NEIL:
Carl. It's Neil.

There's a problem.

NEIL:
There's

a wedding-related problem.

All right, go. Get it.

Hey.

NEIL:
I hear you whispering

about not answering me.

Just remember,

when this is all over

it's just you and me.

(KNOCK ON DOOR)

NEIL:
Carl, if you're humping,

stop, 'cause I'm coming in.

Dude, it's Dupree.

How the hell

did Dupree end up

on the wrong island?

Dupree was born

on the wrong island.

MAN:
Gentlemen,

move this out of the way,

please! We're coming through.

Thank you very much.

Right this way, please.

Careful with the boxes.

Ten minutes ago

those were supposed to be out.

Where's Mr. Thompson?

MOLLY:

Dad, this is incredible.

We really didn't

need all this.

I know. But I did.

NEIL:
Dupree!

There he is.

Did other people land

on the wrong island?

DUPREE:
Guys, I know

I'm in the doghouse,

but come on.

These islands,

Maui, Cowee, Lenowi,

very easy to get mixed up.

Don't worry, you're here.

Don't worry.

I got my head

turned around.

I'm sorry.

Come here, you big lug.

All right.

(PEOPLE CLAPPING)

THOMPSON:
Thank you.

Folks, this is

a bittersweet time for me.

A day that Molly's mother,

rest her soul,

and I used to dream about.

On one hand, I'm inheriting

a new son-in-law,

(PEOPLE LAUGHING)

but on the other,

Daddy's losing

his only little girl.

Now, when Molly told me

that she was gonna marry Carl,

I said, "Who?"

And Molly said,

"Daddy, he works for you."

I said, "Honey, I've got

But then I started to worry.

Maybe he was some young buck

trying to push me aside,

grab the reins of my company.

And then I met Carl,

sitting in cubicle 26.

And I said,

"You know, I like my chances."

So, ladies and gentlemen,

will you raise your glass

to Molly and Carl,

to health and happiness.

He's funny.

Cheers.

ALL:
Hear! Hear!

ALL:
One! Two! Three! Carl!

Hey, everybody,

listen up.

Now, wait.

Just wait.

In honor of your

impending nuptials,

I want to perform a feat

that I've used to mark

every special occasion

in our lives since

at least high school.

Ladies and gentlemen,

birds and bees,

I present to you

the Flaming Tornado!

(ALL CHEERING)

Honey, look who's here!

Hi!

This is just

a safety precaution.

Okay. Little room here.

Need to focus.

Barkeep, your finest

Kentucky bourbon,

low-grade tequila...

I've got a mai tai.

Don't let him start

till I get back.

...lemon slices, a funnel,

and an open flame.

NEIL:
Yeah!

(PEOPLE SHOUTING AND CHEERING)

Okay. Funnel.

ALL:
Tornado! Tornado!

Open flames.

Carl will have the honor.

Will the groom

please light the liquid?

Carl, grab this.

Carl, you got...

Where...

What are you doing?

Do the Tornado.

Maybe later.

NEIL:
No!

No.

What are you doing, man?

No, we'll do it later.

Do it now!

MAN:
Carl has to be here.

Now!

Let Carl come and do it.

Dude.

I'm doing the Tornado, b*tch!

Do that Tornado!

CROWD:
Neil! Neil! Neil!

(NEIL BLABBERING)

(PEOPLE SCREAMING)

GIRL:
Oh, my God!

(SHRIEKING)

Yo, Tornado Man.

This one is for you,

my brother.

Nice one.

Well, I guess this is where

the road ends for you and me.

We had a good run,

though, didn't we?

Hey, Dupree, I'm not dying.

I'm just getting married.

Yeah, I know. Hey, listen.

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