Wishin' and Hopin' Page #6

Make that chapter a mystery.

I'd rather write

a monster story

About an ugly dwarf named Dondi.

You want to borrow my comb

so you can brush your leg hair?

Go eat a hairy bird.

Mademoiselle!

He started it!

Well, I only heard you,

not monsieur.

Go back to your seat.

It says here

he avoided females,

Including his own mother,

And put wood in his bed

every night

To distract himself

from temptations of the flesh.

I don't know why I'm supposed

to be like him.

He bathed lepers and carried

away their slop pails.

Their slop?

Oh, man.

Hey.

What'd you say

to monsignor Muldoon

To make him give you this

anyways?

Well...

hey, Lonny.

I didn't know you were here.

You gonna have dinner

with us?

Actually, mom,

can he stay the night?

Sure, as long as it's okay

with his mom.

It sure is, Mrs. Funicello.

My old lady says you can keep me

as long as you wanted...

Forever,

as far as she's concerned.

Well, I'm sure

she was just joking.

But I want you boys in bed

by 10:
00.

Come on, ma.

Well, come on, Felix.

You got to go to church

in the morning.

But that's no fair.

How come pop never has to go

to church?

Do I have to remind you

pop has a business,

And that business puts food

on the table?

But, ma.

Come on.

You're embarrassing yourself

in front of your friend.

I ain't embarrassed,

Mrs. Funicello.

We fight in my house

all the time.

That's very polite of you,

Lonny,

But we weren't fighting.

We were having a disagreement.

What if we go

to the later mass?

Fine.

Midnight.

When I say, "lights out,"

it's lights out.

Okay, fine.

Swear on a stack of bibles,

Mrs. Funicello.

Hey, tootsie cake.

Look what I got.

What is that?

It's a tree.

No, it's not.

It's a cardboard box.

Ah, it's a color wheel tree.

I thought we'd do something

real special this year.

- Right, Felix?

- Right, pop.

Hey, Lonny.

La

Aluminum or real,

The tree was the first

official sign

That Christmas

was right around the corner.

You know, it's gonna look

pretty good

Once you get the color wheel

going.

We can do better

than pretty good.

Yeah, by the red reindeer.

Wa

Pop was always big

On having the right balance

of bells to lights to tinsel.

But that year,

he took extra care

In making sure

everything was perfect.

Put that...

there.

Yeah.

We let them know who's sharp

during the holidays, huh?

Hey, come get me.

Okay, Turdski.

- Knuckle sandwich.

- Hey.

I almost forgot.

Yeah, what do you mean?

Oh, that's mine.

Where'd you get it?

Let's just say I'm robin hood.

I steal from the rich

and give to the poor.

What makes you think

I'm poor, wise guy?

Hey, all I was saying was that

the teachers are the bad guys,

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