Welcome Home, Roscoe Jenkins

---

FEMALE ANNOUNCER.:

Lights, camera, access.

O'DELL.:
Yes, it's true.

The master of midday TV

goes prime time.

Talk show host Dr. RJ Stevens

has popped the question

to Bianca Kittles,

recent winner

of Survivor:
Kiribati.

What's good, family?

The Doctor's show,

with his irreverent guests...

I've been banging your sister.

(SCREAMING)

... party-like atmosphere and

his "Team of Me" philosophy...

The team of who?

ALL:
Me!

Rely on yourself.

... has gotten a significant

ratings boost

since news of his impending

nuptials became public.

This is, no doubt, welcome

news to the ultra-competitive,

glammed-out Bianca.

The TV reality star

used every asset she possessed

to outwit, outplay

and outlast the competition

on her quest

for the million bucks.

It's a Q-rating bonanza,

as these two

couldn't be more

perfectly matched.

Life is good

for the good doctor.

Wow.

ANNOUNCER.:
(WHISPERING)

On access.

That was fabulous!

Honey, I'm so

proud of you.

Thank you.

You're such a star.

Isn't he a star?

(ALL CHEERING)

He is a superstar.

Now, that is how

you announce your engagement!

That was genius.

You're the talk

of the town!

WOMAN:
Hey, RJ.

Could you imagine this

five years ago, bro?

With a girl like that?

Hell, no.

Hit show,

big mansion on the block.

Now I'm international.

You look great,

by the way.

Shit, man,

that's all this tofu

Bianca got me eating.

Besides the hunger pains,

being a vegan is the shit.

(LAUGHING)

Cheers.

Honey! Telephone.

Get going.

BIANCA:
That sounds

wonderful. I can't wait.

Great.

Well, it's nice

speaking to you.

Okay, hold on.

It's your mom.

Hurry up. Talk.

We still have guests.

Hi!

WOMAN:
Hi there!

You made it. Oh, my God.

You look amazing!

Hey, Mama.

Well, hello, stranger.

We're just beginning to think

you just forgot all about us.

No, Mama. I can't forget

my number one girl.

(CHUCKLES)

And I didn't forget

your anniversary, either.

I sent y'all

a 50" plasma TV.

One inch for every year.

That's sweet, baby.

But we'd much rather

meet Blanca.

She sounds so nice.

(LAUGHS) Bianca, Mama.

Not Blanca.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I thought it was Blanca.

Well, baby,

you know

it's our 50th anniversary.

Mama, I don't think

we're gonna be able

to make it.

Jamaal, you know,

he's got this

big soccer game.

The boy loves himself

some soccer, Mama.

I know.

He talks to Papa

all the time.

Jamaal and Daddy

have been talking?

And writing letters.

Lord... You know,

we haven't seen that child

since he was a baby.

You've just got to come.

Everybody's coming.

We got Ellie

and Cleavon,

Clyde and Lucinda and...

Lucinda?

Oh, yes.

Lucinda and Clyde?

Mmm-hmm.

They're coming together?

I forgot to tell you.

But I... I thought...

PAPA.:

That's a lot

of questions, boy.

Hey, Daddy.

Especially from someone

who has shown very little

interest in his family.

Yes, sir, but I...

If you can find

the time to explore

"The Mind Of A Stripper"

or "Sisters Gone Wild"

with your so-called "family,"

then you can find

the time to spend

with your actual family.

So you've been watching!

Boy, don't disappoint

your mother.

(SIGHS)

(REFEREE BLOWING WHISTLE)

RJ:
Go, Jamaal!

There you go,

there you go!

Boy, that

kid's good.

Right. Move.

Push it!

Come on, get it,

get it, get it, get it!

Right there!

Let it go, Jamaal!

That's a winner, Jamaal!

(WHOOPING)

(LAUGHS)

(WHISTLE BLOWING)

MARTY:
Hey, RJ, I'll see you

later, man. Okay, take care.

You tell Jamaal I said bye.

Jamaal, way to go.

Way to go. That's

how you do that.

Good going, guys!

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