Weekend at Bernie's Page #4

We don't do that anymore.

We are a corporation now.

We are in the market. We invest.

Real estate. Car rentals. Parking lots.

Parking lots. That's good.

- I understand that, but...

- Didn't I order the walnut dressing?

- Yes, you did.

- Taste that.

Does that taste

anything like walnut dressing? Tell me.

This is the raspberry vinaigrette.

Should I have Paulie go

and talk to the chef?

This goddamn raspberry vinaigrette...

Excuse me, Vito.

I know how important food is to you,

I mean...

But we've got a problem here.

I give problems. I don't get problems.

How do you propose to handle it?

Let's make it a murder-suicide job. All right?

Okay, gentlemen?

I'll plant some money, fake a note,

and they can take the rap and...

I won't even have to change the books.

What do you think?

I like it. It's creative.

I am a little rusty. But it'll come back to me.

Okay.

- Do it.

- This is good.

I mean this is really good. Good.

I think we are going to have some fun.

- I have to get going. I really do.

- What, no dessert?

They do a wonderful crme brle here.

It's delicious.

No, gentlemen, I really must be going.

Thanks for dinner, Vito.

I got to go powder my nose.

Forget the accident with the two guys.

Take care of Lomax.

He's getting too careless...

too greedy.

Besides...

he's screwing my girlfriend.

But you said we were going to

spend the weekend at the beach!

You heard the conversation.

What am I supposed to do about it?

- Bernie.

- What?

I told Vito I was going to spend

some time with my mother!

I have to see you, Bernie.

Cut it out.

- What's wrong with you? Wait a minute.

- What?

- I have an idea.

- What?

You are on, 9:
00 Friday night.

I'll be at the apartment.

Just use your key. All right?

I'll wear something special.

I bet you never had sweet and sour

matzo balls before.

No.

- I am glad you finally asked me out.

- You are?

I wish you had asked me out sooner.

Today was my last day at work.

I am going back to college.

We could still have

this weekend together, right?

I am spending it with my folks.

- Are your folks in town?

- No.

Is this the intimate evening

I promised you, or what?

You think there's anywhere we could go

to just sit and talk...

and not have to scream

and get run over by garbage trucks?

- Hey, want to throw her in?

- How you doing?

I'd invite you to my apartment,

but I have five roommates.

And they are all at home

doing their hair right now.

That's a lot of hair. But it's clean. I like that.

It's either that or living with my parents,

and I don't think that's a good idea.

I can't blame you. Who'd want

to live with their folks? That's no good.

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