Weekend at Bernie's

Synopsis: Two young men are trying to make their way in a corporation. One on charm, the other on hard work. When they go to the president (Bernie) with a serious financial error on a printout, he pretends to be thrilled and invites them to his beach house for the weekend. He actually plans on having them killed. Bernie is also fooling around with the girlfriend of his mafia partner. When the partner has Bernie killed, the boys end up having to pretend Bernie is still alive as the frustrated hit man tries time and time again to complete the job.
Director(s): Ted Kotcheff
Production: 20th Century Fox
  1 nomination.
Rotten Tomatoes:
97 min

Oh, God.

How are you, Richard? Hot enough for you?


Hey, what are you doing?

You dummy, why don't you watch

where you are going?

Does this look like 10:00, or like 10:30?

- Morning, Richard!

- Good morning.

- You are a half hour late.

- Only a half hour?

I am usually 45 minutes late.

I am early today.

I see.

- Are you going to join me today or what?

- Coming.

Give me your money and your wallets.

Get your ass out of here. It is too hot.

Color me old-fashioned, Rich,

but I just love the park on a Sunday.

I would love it more if we didn't have

to work today. Come on, let's go.

Let me open that for you, all right?

Hot enough for you, Larry?

No, Harris, why don't you turn up the heat?

Okay. I'll tell the engineer.

Cheap bastards. Turn off

the air conditioning on the weekends.

- Let's go to the beach.

- No.

- We are going to be here our whole lives.

- Yeah, I am afraid so.

- I am going to the beach!

- Give me those papers.

- The papers are going to the beach.

- We aren't going.

You want these?

You're coming to the beach.

- I guess we are going to the beach.

- Wilson at the line.

That was beautiful. Replay.

Give me those papers!

- You think it's safe to go in the water?

- No, better not.

- You just ate. You might get cramps.

- I'll risk it.

We'll get back to you with more tunes,

but first we'll hear...

the latest from Weather Central.

- What is happening out there, buddy?

- Sizzle, sizzle...

as the Big Apple becomes the Baked Apple.

You better believe that these are...

Oh, Christ. Will you shut that thing off?

... continues before Labor Day weekend.

It is going to be the four "H's":

hot, humid, hazy, and horrible.

This sucks. I am so unhappy.

- We should be at a real beach.

- There are no more real beaches.

I mean we could go to Jones Beach

and float around in the hospital waste.

Then again Coney Island is always real nice.

We could go there and watch the fish

disintegrate in front of our eyes.

Wait a minute. Wait a goddamn...

Hold the phone, buddy! I got it!

I got the $2 million. Where are your pages?

Get your pages.

Oh, my God!

You are not going to believe what you see!

- Okay.

- Turn to Page 28.

Right after 27.

- Got it.

- All right? You got it?

I want you to turn to Page 41 now.

- I got it.

- Check out line 18.

- Okay?

- Yeah.

- You see it?

- I see it.

What about it?

You are such a stupid piece of rat sh*t.


- Watch your step!

- I am being barbecued here!

All right. Okay. All right, buddy

I am going to explain it to you real slow.

- Good.

- Okay.

There's more than one check issued

on the same life insurance policy claim.

One in December of '87, another in

April of '88, and two more in June.

- Making any sense?

- Yeah, he died four times.

Yes. According to this, he died four times.

So somebody screwed up.

It wasn't us. Was it?

No. It wasn't us.

Don't you see?

We just uncovered a $2 million error.

We're going to be heroes.

We're going up the corporate ladder.

- This is good for me.

- Yes, this is good for you.

- It's good for me, too.

- I'll tell Lomax first thing in the morning.

- What page is it?

- No, Larry. Let me tell him.

- We'll both tell him.

- Okay. Great!

There is what's- her-name.

Stop staring at her.

You've not shut up about her

for two months.

- Ask her out already, will you?

- No. I don't know what to say.

She's a summer intern.

She'll be gone in a week.

No, I've no idea what to say.

- Say "Hi, I want to go out with you."

- I can't say that.

Why not?

Because there are too many people around.

It's New York City.

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    "Weekend at Bernie's" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 23 Jul 2021. <https://www.scripts.com/script/weekend_at_bernie's_23198>.

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