We're the Millers Page #4

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Oh, jeez. I'm awful

sorry, officer.

I don't know which way

is up around here.

No problem. Our city can

get confusing sometimes.

MAN:
Trying to find

our way to the zoo.

It's two blocks up that way,

take a left, two blocks...

Holy f***ing sh*t.

Thank you, d*ckheads.

(OVER SPEAKERS) Hey little

lady, don't you say maybe.

Rose, the guy at the bar

asked for you by name.

Treat him nice.

Baby, I'ma show you how to.

MAN:
Yeah!

Hi. I'm Rose.

- Hi. Hi.

- What...? Oh, please. No.

- No, Rose. Hey, Rose, Rose.

- No, no, no, no.

- Please. Listen to me.

- Duh, duh, duh, duh.

Ch-ch-ch-chuh.

You a**hole.

Don't worry. You don't have to

get naked and all that stuff.

- Unless you want to, you know. Oof!

- Mm-hm.

- F***.

- What do you want?

How would you like to spend 4th

of July weekend making 10 grand?

- What?

- Rose, listen.

All I'm asking is that you

go to Mexico with me.

All right? And then we drive

home together in an RV.

Rose:
Mm-hm.

- And that RV has some pot in it.

- Drug dealing?

No, it's not drug dealing. It's not.

No, it's smuggling.

- Are you out of your mind?

- Rose, listen to me.

Now, me crossing the border by myself,

huge red flag. Huge, all right?

But families, they don't

get a second look.

So, Rose, I need

you to be my wife.

That is the dumbest

thing I've ever heard.

Look, Rose, 10,000 bucks, and

your flight's already paid for.

You can't buy me.

I'm not buying you, all right?

I'm renting you.

Rose:
Hmm.

Like Pretty Woman.

Pretty Woman? She

was a prostitute.

And I don't trust you.

- What did she say?

- What the f*** do you think? She said no.

Cool. So I guess it's just us, then.

A little

father and son bonding

trip to Mexico.

Are you kidding? You and me alone in a van?

It'll look like the pervert Olympics.

No way. Absolutely not.

No, we need a girl.

And unless you can think of someone that

can leave town tomorrow, I'm f***ed.

I know a girl.

I don't get it.

What's in it for me?

I'm thinking a roof over your head, some

actual hot food. That'd be good enough.

I'm thinking 1000.

Fine, 1000 bucks, but that's it.

Great. And if we get caught I'll say

you drugged and kidnapped me. Cool?

Yeah, it's cool. Yeah, that's fine.

But that's it.

Kenny, meet your new sister.

This is great. I've

always wanted a sister.

- Get it off me. Get it off! Get off!

- Hey, come on. Let go.

- Come on. We gotta clean you up.

- What's wrong with you?

- Don't say that.

- I didn't mean to make her uncomfortable.

(OVER SPEAKERS) Wild child.

MAN:
Boner Garage!

Going all out Going for broke.

Oh, great. Rose, I'm

glad I caught you.

I wanted to go over a couple

of minor policy changes...

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