We're the Millers Page #3

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David:
So you bought a whale?

Well, I don't like sports cars.

- Yeah, yeah.

- So where's my money, David?

Come on, man. We go back.

We do go back. But it's

not college anymore.

We're not selling lids

out of my dorm room.

And you owe me $43,000.

I told you, I got robbed, Brad.

They took everything I had, man.

This week's drop, 22 grand of my

money that I'd saved. I'm f***ed.

Listen, this is a f***ed-up situation. But

I might have a win-win for both of us.

- Great.

- I have a smidge of very choice...

...mari-ju-Ana down in Mexico...

...and I need it here

by Sunday night.

My regular courier is out

because he got gunned down.

That's where you come in.

You could be my mule. I

need someone I can trust.

Go to Mexico, bring it back by Sunday

night, not only will I forgive your debt...

...I will pay you a standard

courier fee of $100,000.

You're gonna give me 100 grand to

move a smidge across the border?

Smidge and a half. It's nothing.

Dude, I got rolled by the

f***ing cast of Annie.

I come walking in here and you ask me

to be an international drug dealer.

This is easy money, David. All you

gotta do is pop down to Mexico...

...go to this address, tell them you're

there to pick up for Pablo Chacon.

- Who the f*** is Pablo Chacon?

- I am.

(SPEAKS IN SPANISH

THEN CHUCKLES)

You don't get respect from Mexicans when

your name is Brad Gurdlinger, right?

I mean, that's white in any language. See?

Big Bad Brad thought of everything.

I don't know. I don't think so, man.

This is way out of my league.

It's a federal crime.

If I try to cross the border with more

than a pound, you're talking like, um...

Twenty-five years in Mexican prison.

If you get a happy judge.

Yeah. Jeez. Not good.

- Although, you're forgetting one thing.

- What?

You don't have a f***ing choice.

Kenny:
So now you're gonna become

an even bigger drug dealer?

Drug smuggler, Kenny.

There's a difference.

You're probably gonna get

searched at the border.

No offense, you look like

a total drug dealer.

- No sh*t. Thanks, dude.

- You could wear a disguise.

- What?

- A disguise.

That's what I thought.

A disguise.

I dress up. What's the hot

Halloween outfit these days?

Bane from Batman? Someone like that?

Wear something over my face?

(AS BANE) There's no drugs in here.

You've got nothing to worry about.

(IN NORMAL VOICE) Great idea.

(HORN HONKING)

Hey, pardon me. Hi.

Hate to bug you, but I'm trying to get the

fam to the zoo and I'm lost as all heck.

F*** off, real-life Flanders.

It's my fault. When it comes to reading

maps, I sure can be an old flibbertigibbet.

(WOMAN CHUCKLES)

Hey. No parking here, sir.

Perfect. F***ing tourists.

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