We're Not Married! Page #4

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With the best Mr. and Mrs. program on

the air paying you 5,000 bucks a week...

why can't you figure out

a way to get along together?

Why, if it ever got out to

the papers the way you fight--

Who is the next on the list?

Next we have

Twombley's Miracle Skin Food.

- For those hungry little pores?

- It's the customary way.

I don't know how

other people feel about it...

but my pores are gonna eat

exactly what the rest of me eats.

I don't care

if they're starving, I am not--

May we have the next one?

Next we've got Pasternak's Factory

Tested P*ssy-willow Mattresses.

Know 'em well.

They're stuffed with cat hair.

They're the kind they hang on walls in

insane asylums-- And don't you say it!

Don't say what? I don't know

what on earth you're talking about!

- You were gonna make a crack.!

- I wasn't gonna say--

- You were gonna say something

about where I came from.

- Ramona, my dear...

- he never opened his mouth.

- Well, he was going to. I know him.

He never muffed a line like that in his life.

He never misses an opportunity.

[ Laughing Continues, Louder ]

- Who's dead?

- This is more like it.

Well, what's it say?

- [ Ramona ] Oh, no.!

- [ Steve ] Yes,yes.

Oh, I don't believe it.

Look. [ Laughing ]

Oh, it's like

a beautiful dream come true.

It's like sweet bells

across the countryside at twilight.

This is dreadful.

You'll have to get remarried at once.

I mean it!

This is a Mr. and Mrs. program.

You may not be happy, but, by Godfrey,

you're supposed to be married anyway.

Go away, little man, go away.

This news has unseated

this poor fellow's reason.

I'll have to see

Mr. Twitchell about this immediately.

- What a glorious day it is, to be sure.

- [ Thunderclap ]

If there were birds this high,

they'd be singing away like

a choir of Mario Lanzas.!

- Gladwyn. Let's get organized here.

- Yes, Mr. Twitchell?

What is all this nonsense about your

not wanting to get married again?

Well, it's true, sir. Heaven has finally

blessed our union with a little annulment.

Well, I'm afraid you'll

have to skip it this time.

We've got a nice set-up here, and if

you're not married, we're cooked.

They'd laugh us off the air

if our all-American couple...

blew a gasket in

the middle of the wheatcakes.

Check on a church or something

for these people to get married

again right away.

- Congratulations, folks.

-Just a minute there.

- Yes?

- You're a little ahead of

yourself, Mr. Twitchell.

- We're not getting married again.

- Why not?

Because Mrs. Gladwyn and I have built

too many of our hopes on this day...

to have our happiness destroyed

with the wave of a hand.

In addition to which,

I can't stand him.

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