Unseen + Untold: National Lampoon's Animal House Page #3

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I'm not joking! This is my job.

Come on, Mandy, I would tell you.

Are you and Greg doing the dirty deed?

Greg doesn't believe

in premarital intercourse.

Too bad.

I think he's just dreamy.

And one, two, three, four...

Company, halt!

Dress that line.

Dress that line, mister!

Dress that line, soldier.

Mister, hold my mount.

You fat, disgusting slob!

You're a goddamned disgrace!

A vicious mother, isn't he?

He can't do that to our pledges.

Only we can do that to our pledges.

Redo those buttons!

Dress that belt buckle!

Straighten that cap!

And goddamn it, tuck up those pyjamas!

Attention! Eyes front!

What's that on your chest, mister?

- It's a pledge pin, sir.

- A pledge pin!

On your uniform?

Hooked it. Sh*t.

Just tell me, mister,

what fraternity would pledge...

a man like you?

It's a Delta pin, sir.

Slice!

Report to the stable tonight

and every night at 1900 hours.

Without that pledge pin!

Do you understand?

Your left arm is straight...

but you're not keeping your head down.

You're all worthless and weak!

Now drop and give me 20!

Get back in ranks!

Always try to hit through the ball.

I've gotta work on my game.

Don't think of it as work.

The whole point is just to enjoy yourself.

I want you to fix Pinto up,

but it has to be a very special girl.

She should be decent-looking,

but we'll trade looks for...

a certain kind of morally casual attitude.

Somebody he can screw on the first date.

Well put. You see, Pinto's never been laid.

What did I say?

Don't embarrass me in front of Dave.

He's the only professor I like.

Mr. Jennings is a wonderful teacher.

Teaching pays the rent till I finish my novel.

How long have you been working on it?

Four and a half years.

Must be very good.

It's a piece of sh*t.

Would anybody like to smoke some pot?

Yeah.

You ever smoked before?

Sure.

When did you ever smoke pot?

I've done a lot of things

you don't know about.

I won't go schizo, will I?

There's a distinct possibility.

Is this right?

Try not to drool quite so much

on the end of it.

Hey, Paula

I wanna marry you

Hey, Paula

Nobody else could ever do

I've waited so long

For school to be through

I can't wait no more for you

Okay.

That means that...

our whole solar system...

could be, like...

one tiny atom in the fingernail

of some other giant being.

This is too much!

That means...

- one tiny atom in my fingernail could be...

- Could be one little...

tiny universe.

Could I buy some pot from you?

Give me that.

Yeah, baby.

Good baby. It's all right. You stupid...

Dorfman! What kind of man

hits a defenceless animal?

I've got a good mind to smash your fat face.

Listen up, you nauseating pile of blubber.

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