Topsy-Turvy
One, two. Two, two.
I deliver perfection... | and don't brag about it! :D
# So please you, sir, we much regret
# If we have failed in etiquette
# Towards a man of rank so high
# We shall know better by and by
# But youth, of course, must have its fling
# And don't in girlhood's happy spring
# Be hard on us, be hard on us
# If we're inclined to dance and sing
# Tralalalala
# But youth, of course, must have its fling
# So pardon us
# And don't in girlhood's happy spring
# Be hard on us
# But youth, of course, must have its fling
# So pardon us
# Tralalala la la la
# Tralalala la la
# Tralalala la la
# Tra lalalalalala
# Tralalalalalala la!
- Sir Arthur, what are you doing? | - Going to the theatre.
- No, it is not possible. | - I have no choice!
- You must get back... | - Louis!
- D'accord.
- Louis! "Schnell", please! | - Don't move.
Clothilde, encore du caf. Vite.
Sir Arthur, la tasse, s'il vous plat.
- Merci.
Nicht so schnell.
Louis, ich muss das allein tun.
I'll be fine. Now go and fetch the cab.
- Canton. | - Good evening, sir.
Arthur!
- Arthur, is this wise? | - No, it's foolish.
- Do you intend to go on? | - Yes, Helen. I've never missed one yet.
I'll let everybody know.
- Here, take a drink. | - Thank you.
Oh, that's better, Frank.
- Your gloves, sir. | - Very good, Louis.
This "is" a surprise, sir.
# As up we string the faithless king
# In the old familiar way
# We'll shout ha ha! Hip hip hurrah!
# Hip hip hip hip hurrah!
# As we make an end of her false papa!
# Hurrah! Hurrah!
- Permission, Mr Cook. | - Permission, Shrimp.
Come!
Five minutes, Mr Grossmith.
# If you give me your attention | I will tell you what I am
# I'm a genuine philanthropist
# And each social defect
# In my erring fellow creatures
# I endeavour to correct
# To all their little weaknesses
# I open people's eyes
# And little plans to snub | the self-sufficient I devise
# I love my fellow creatures
# I do all the good I can
# Yet everybody says | I'm such a disagreeable man
# And I can't think why
# I'm sure I'm no ascetic
# I'm as pleasant as can be
# You'll always find me ready | with a crushing repartee
# I've an irritating chuckle, | I've a celebrated sneer
# I've an entertaining snigger
# I've a fascinating leer
# To everybody's prejudice | I know a thing or two
# I can tell a woman's age | in half a minute - and I do
# But although I try to make myself
# As pleasant as I can
# Yet everybody says | I am a disagreeable man
# And I can't think why
# He can't think why
# I can't think
# Why
- Bonsoir.
- Merci.
What do you expect me to do? | Kiss the carpenters?
Arthur!
Let's get him up.
Come on, sir.
Arthur, take some brandy.
What happened? What happened?!
Listen to this! Today's "Times".
"'Princess Ida' will | probably run for a year...
...keeping the Savoy treasury | agreeably replete all the while."
"All London will flock to hear it."
"So will our provincial, | American and continental visitors."
"Copies of its words and music | will be sold by tens of thousands."
"Everybody connected with it will have | a good time for at least twelve months."
"So mote it be."
- How splendid, Willie! | - Sugared words, Lucy.
Listen.
"The opera is above the level of all | other entertainments before the public."
"Still, I cannot pronounce it | to be in any way...
...an improvement upon its predecessors."
"To me, words and music alike reveal...
...symptoms of fatigue in their | respective composer and author."
"Arthur Sullivan cannot write | other than in pleasing manner...
...but several numbers in 'Princess Ida' | lack the freshness and spontaneity...
...of 'The Pirates of Penzance', | 'Patience, lolanthe'...
...or 'The Sorcerer', his best operatic work."
Oh! Is it?
"Or 'HMS Pinafore', the most popular."
"WS Gilbert abundantly proves | he is still the legitimate monarch...
...of the realm of Topsy-Turvydom."
Thank you very much(!)
"But his incongruities are more | elaborately worked up than of yore...
...and therefore less funny."
"Moreover, the story is a dull one!"
- Burn it, Pidgeon! | - Sir.
Willie...!
Your kidneys are getting cold!
The show's doing splendidly. | Full houses and a healthy advance.
- Capital. | - Three tours on the road.
Pirates, Patience and lolanthe.
- Merveilleux.
New York can't wait for "Ida".
Ah, New York. How splendid.
- Helen has us booked up to year's end. | - Tireless as ever.
All part of my day's work.
- Tea, Miss Lenoir? | - No, thank you, Louis.
Very well.
I hope your confinement | hasn't made you restless.
How have you been passing the time?
I've made some resolutions, Helen.
- A little late in the new year, perhaps. | - Better late than never.
May we know what they are, Arthur?
Why not?
One.
To travel to the Continent | as soon as my health permits.
- Very wise. | - I think so.
Two.
To look for a country house | where I may repair each summer...
...without having to cross the Channel.
- Three. To take more exercise. | - Excellent, Arthur. About time, too.
A leaf out of your book, D'Oyly. | I must walk more.
Yes.
To write no more operas for the Savoy.
- And what is number five? | - To fly to the moon in his bed socks!
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"Topsy-Turvy" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 4 May 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/topsy-turvy_22105>.
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